Today
by AllisonxKleery
Summary: You're my queen. My secret lover. The one I cannot have but must. A guilty pleasure. An obsession. Gabpay. Eventual Slash.
1. Private Show

Hey everyone! So listen, I know I had the sequel to Secrets' up last week but that needs some MAJOR reevaluating before that is posted and finished. I don't want to give you guys a bad story, so I'm going to edit and finish that before I post it up for everyone to see. But, just to keep you guys entertained for the moment, I have a new story for you! Reviews, questions, and thoughts are loved and welcomed as long as they are constructive.

xoAllison

**Warning**- This piece of work contains homosexuality (Gabpay). If you do not like this please pass it by and do not waste your time. I'm not in the mood and never will be to listen close minded people.

_Chapter 1._

_Sharpay_

Mrs. Helms is a skinny blonde _bitch_. She stands there, flat chested, with her light blonde hair pulled back into a boring bun with makeup caked over her ugly face. She's in love with theater and personally I don't see why she didn't become a drama teacher instead of teaching English and torturing us all.

She's holding Edgar Allan Poe in her hands. Well not _really_ Edgar Allan Poe because he's dead but, a book of his utterly depressing and brilliant poems. She runs a long finger down the side, with her small, over-glossed lips pursed and her eyebrows furrowed. She's mad as usual.

"I'll wait," she says impatiently.

The class still resumes chatting amongst themselves, and Mrs. Helms raises her voice. But still, nobody pays attention, and some of the chatters giggle and keep talking. I feel a hard tap on my shoulder, and I whirl around to see Ryan leaning over his desk.

"Alex just told me we're getting a new student in AP Chemistry today. I heard she's gorgeous and can sing her head off."

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Who the hell is Alex and how is it that he knows this before me?"

Ryan giggles to himself. "Alex is the school secretary, Shar! I've told you about him like a _million_ times! He's why I came in at three last night."

Okay, whoa. I am so done about hearing about Alex. I hate when Ryan starts talking about his boyfriends. I hate when he talks about relationships. And about why I'm not in one yet. And I could get with any guy that I wanted. If I wanted to get with one of them, I would.

"Well, how does he know she can sing - if she can?" I want to get off the Alex topic - desperately.

"He's met her already. She came in to tour the school last week. The singing thing is on her school record - she missed three weeks to tour Texas with her band as lead singer last year."

I smirk, prop my elbows on his desk. "Really? Well, looks like we've finally got some competition around here."

Ryan just laughs. "She's a cute girl, Shar but also a sassy one. I'd suggest you didn't fuck with this one. We don't want a repeat of Blaire Skyler do we?"

I frown. Blaire Skyler. Sternly, I press my lips together, and turn around.

Ryan is the biggest asshole.

Ever.

I notice that the battle between Mrs. Helms and the chatters' has simmered and she is now talking about _The Pendulum_, one of the most famous and my personal favorite twisted works of Edgar Allan Poe. But of course, Mrs. Helms has the magical power to take a very interesting subject and turn it into the most boring speech you've ever listened to. Really.

"Pay, come on. You're still not mad over Blaire are you?" He teases.

The ghost of his breath sneaks down my back, and I shudder at the warmth. His Burberry is overwhelming and his proximity is unsettling, his voice annoying and tired and I wish he would just go away. I can feel his lips brush against my ear, and I picture him leaning all the way over his desk, elbows folded underneath his chest, with his smirk sitting on his face in that arrogant expression.

"She only cheated on you with Troy Bolton, and dumped you at your birthday party." He slinks back into his seat, thinking he's something else. He knows he's made a big mistake, of course, especially talking to me in that way. Me, his older sister by two hours, the only one who's ever completely accepted him. He knows what he's done.

But he won't feel guilty. He's up on his pedalstool; It's Alex that's giving him this sudden boost of extra confidence. I hate Alex. That ignorant little fag! Who does he think he is?

I turn, my blood boiling. I know I can't yell at him right now - not in English class. Mrs. Helms is sure to send me to Matsui, and I for one _need_ to see this new girl in AP Chemistry. If there is a new girl and Alex isn't a compulsive liar like myself. I grip the back of chair, try to put on the fakest smile possible.

"Ryan, why don't you go fuck yourself."

The bell rings. Students make a hurry for the door, and class is over.

---

I don't even know why I am in this AP Chemistry class. I mean, I always have pulled A's in Science, and I never really knew how. Mr. Loeman says I'm a genius, and that it's truly my calling, not the silly plays I act in. Mr. Loeman also believes that extraterristrials exist, so I say fuck Mr. Loeman.

He's scribbling some formulas onto the board, and explaining something at the same time. I can't concentrate because I can't take my eyes off the new girl - Gabriella Montez. She's stunning I mean, well not stunning but, she's pretty cute.

Long brown hair,

Comes halfway down her back,

Big Brown Eyes,

Perky smile.

She wears a simple white blouse, with jeans and flipflops, and she's been following Mr. Loeman this whole class. The only one to actually answer correctly to all of his questions. Her lips are perfect, nice and full, not too puffy not to thin. Her cheeks are a little flustered, very adorable.

She moves very easily. Very flexible. Like, her pen dropped on the floor. She bent her torso all the way across the aisle and snatched the pen from the floor with little effort. She twirls her pen in her hand, diligently following along, tapping her foot against the leg of her desk.

"Hey - Gabriella right?"

Oh shit no.

How fucking awesome! Troy Bolton, Mr. God, the person I very much despise sits next to Gabriella. He's been eyeing her up all period, and he obviously likes her. Gabriella turns to him, her face glowing with excitement. She can't possibly be excited to talk to Troy can she? But of course, almost every idiot girl is.

"Yeah. But _you_ can call me Gabi," she says. Her voice is small and cute, innosant and childlike.

He extends a large, disgusting hand out to her. "I'm Troy Bolton. Captain of East High's Basketball Team. Nice to meet you, welcome to East High."

She accepts it, her face flushing a slight color of red. "Hi, Troy and...thanks."

He laughs. "So...where you from?"

"Texas."

He acts interested. Of course, he wants her out of her comforably fitting jeans. "Really? What's it like there?"

She shrugs her shoulders, and I can immeadiately tell she's very excited he asked this question. "Well, it's not just desert like everybody thinks. It's really...beautiful there."

Troy nods. "You're really beautiful here."

Gabriella giggles, and you could tell she's not used to compliments like these. Her cheeks fluster wildly, and her smile is uncontainable. She looks so pretty, I almost can't stand to sit here and watch him cast his spell upon her. They resume their flirty chat for the rest of the period, and being the dunce that I am, can't force myself to say anything to her.

Sigh.

---

"Oh my gosh, Sharpay, did you see Gabriella!? She's _gorgeous_!" Ryan bounces up to me in the cafeteria, excited.

This is why I hate Ryan. He knows exactly what to say to make me pissed and he does it indirect but deliberately. He knows that I've seen her, he really isn't as stupid as he pretends.

"Yes, Ryan. I have met her, and she's not _that_ great looking," I tell him. We're walking up the stairs to our private table, and view of the whole cafeteria. I flip my hair and swing my hips as seductively as I can.

"I have American Government with her," he says, as if being in the same class with Gabriella Montez was the freaking shizz or something.

And why do I care?

I don't.

"So what do you like her or something?" I ask Ryan. I'm only teasing, and I wave to a few of the wannabes as they say hello and worship at my feet. Literally.

"No," he says, shooing them away. "I just think you've got some serious competition."

See what I mean? An asshole. Complete and total jerk-off.

I know he's right. Gabriella is absolutely gorgeous, way better-looking than I am and will ever be. But hey, he doesn't have to point it out. I snort and laugh haughtily.

"With Lane Bryant jeans? Yeah, right, Ryan you've got to be fucking me!"

He busts into a fit of laughter as we take a seat our table. Cindy and Monica stand as we sit, and then reclaim ther seats after we've been seated.

"So, Shar, have you seen the new girl?" Cindy asks, playing with the dark tips of her short brown hair.

I hate Cindy. Honestly, I really do not like her. But of course we're BFFs because her mother is Head Debutant and I must look good having the Head Debutant's daughter following me around. She's ditzy and stupid, and she calls me 'Shar'. Really, the only person I allow to call me that is Ryan and I have no clue why.

"Oh my gosh, she's so gorgeous," Monica says biting into her Luna bar.

I hate Monica too. But Derek Jeter is her dad, and obviously I look great having her follow me as well.

"She is such a total _joke_," I say, ready to trash Gabriella.

Must I remind you half of the things I say are meaningless because Gabriella Montez is not a total joke.

"I mean, did you see her jeans and how _fat_ her thighs are? She should really go take a visit to Jenny Craig."

Okay, what I just said was mean. Her thighs definetely aren't fat, and her jeans make her look hot as hell.

Monica and Cindy snicker, and continue to pick at their scraps. Ryan pokes and prodes at some spaghetti, while I settle on nothing. I can't eat any cafeteria food, it's way too fatty. I'm already fat enough as it is, and most of you would tell me I'm crazy but I'm not. If you really look at me, I'm a fat ass.

I have cellulite in my inner thigh that just won't go away. The fat that hangs off of my arm is disgusting, and I have a double chin when I laugh. I'm disgusting to look at. Blaire said I was absolutely not fat whatsoever, and that I should actually gain some weight. Blaire also cheated on me, bitch.

"Hey, she's sitting with Troy!" Cindy says suddenly.

What?!

No fucking way!

She's sitting with _Troy_?

I stand abruptly from my chair, push Cindy out of my way and peer over the balcony. Yes indeed, she is placed next to Troy, joining the whole basketball gang in their round of hilarious laughter. She looks so beautiful...so majestic. He places his arm around her, and her face goes red, but scoots a little closer to him.

"Troy stealing your girl?" Ryan whispers into my ear.

The others don't exactly know I'm gay, and I prefer to keep it that way.

"Shut the fuck up," I hiss back at him, never taking my eyes off of her.

Ryan makes a pouty face, like he actually cares and places a strong hand on my shoulder. "Well sis, your obsession begins here."

And so it did.


	2. At First Sight

Holaa! I thank all of you who reviewed, I really love hearing from you guys and if you have any questions than let me know and I'd be happy to answer them. Without reviews, I would be nothing. I thrive on them. This chapter has a little Spanish in it, but not much at all and most of you should be able to understand. I'm trilingual...if you guys didn't know. (English, French, Spanish.) As always, leave your thoughts, reviews are loved and welcomed.

xoAllison

_Chapter 2._

_Sharpay_

I'm not sure I really understand what it is to love someone. I think I felt it once, but looking back I feel ashamed that I gave all of my love away. I mean, it's exciting. Those days where all you're doing is thinking about them and craving them, wanting them and needing them to be there with you. Longing for the sound of their voice.But, sometimes it's really hard because you can't let them have all of you. Even though all of you wants to be sold away.

Some times, life is better when you're alone. Because than you don't have to worry about loving someone, about wanting to be with someone. You don't have to worry about when someone is going to call you and you don't crave someone. I hate wanting and I hate craving. Most of all, I hate loving.

---

My car is beautiful. Top of the line. It's a Lexus, pink, convertible. Some might even jump in front of a bus just to ride in it. Beige leather seats. Pristine condition.

With Ryan following behind me, I get inside my car and close the door. Ryan throws my purse into the back, and slides in next to me. I can feel the eyes of jealous wannabees as I start up the engine and pull the car into drive. I start backing out of the parking spot.

"SHARPAY WATCH OUT!"

I slam on the breaks and Ryan shrieks. I turn it off, get out of my car, and warn Ryan to stay. I see a girl, tan, long hair, about my height leaning against the back of my car. Her face is twisted into a horrified expression, and her books are scattered.

It's Gabriella.

My heart jumps and my stomach lurches.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

I'm suprised by the tone of my voice. It's soft and sweet, not usually like the ice cold glare I stamp across my face all the time. I can't believe I even asked her a question. It sort of...popped out, thankfully.

She nods. "Yeah...I think I'm okay. I didn't realize you were backing out. I-I-I'm sorry." She's trembling, and she slowly backs away from the car. I notice her finger marks against the back hood, and it almost pisses me off.

She bends down to pick up her books, but I scoop them up before she does. It's only one or two. She laughs nervously, and thanks me as I place the books in her hands. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and begins to look over my shoulder as if she's waiting for someone.

I take a deep breath. I have to say something else to her. I don't why I'm so nervous.

"I'm Sharpay, by the way," I say lamely.

She looks at me and gives a small smile. She looks a little uncomfortable. "Oh. I'm Gabriella. It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too. Do you need a ride home? I can give you one, it's just me and my brother."

She clutches her books tighter, and scratches the back of her head. This was a bad idea. I should've just said something smart and gotten back into my car. It would have been ten times easier because now she probably thinks I'm a stalker.

Why am I acting so nice towards her anyways?

Because she's cute, duh dunce.

Well so? Blaire was incredibly cute, but I was a total bitch until Allen's party.

Gabriella's different. She's more than hot, sexy, or cute. She's beautiful.

Beautiful?

Yeah, amazingly beautiful.

"Sure."

She looks at me and smiles widely. Wow.

We walk over to the car, and I order Ryan into the back. He resists at first, but of course, I'm in charge. _Not_ that son of a bitch. He slowly folds the front seat forward and climbs into the backseat, folding his arms across his chest and I know he's pissed. Well, whatever. It's what he deserves.

She pulls out her cell phone and dials quickly.

"Hey Mama...no a friend is bring me home. Si, quiero, I will. Alright. Te amo tambien...and it's a _girl_ mama! Yes, okay, okay! Bye." She closes the phone and giggles a little. "Mom..she's a little overprotective. You know how mom's can be."

I smile and nod even though I actually don't know how mom's can be. I haven't had a real conversation with my mom in over two years. Really all it is is the occassional ''Hello, how was your day?'' and the occassional answer ''Fine, and yours'?''. My parents' are always gone anyways. It's always been just Ryan and I.

I pull out of the busy parking lot, and she tells me how to get to her house. We drive in mostly silence, besides the sound of Ryan fuming in the back. She seems really nervous but then again, she doesn't even know me. I want to know her though - badly.

"Hey, Sharpay?"

"Hmm?" I say as we stop at a red light. I look at her, and her cheeks are flushed a light shade of red.

"The kids at school sort of...told me some stuff about you. But, it'll probably seem stupid." She shakes her head and waves the subject away with her hand. The light turns green and my foot presses the gas pedal.

"What kids?"

"Troy Bolton...you know him?" she says.

It's almost cute how new she is. Do I know Troy Bolton? Do _I_ know _Troy Bolton_? I'm really pissed off. How dare that fucking jerk off pig say stuff about me. How dare him! After all of the pain he's contributed to in my life and he still talks about me like dirt. I'm going to fucking murder this kid.

"Of course I know him! Now what did he say?" I snap.

I didn't mean too. I really didn't. My body is on fire, and I hate him. I hate him, more than you could ever hate anything. My brain is melting and I want to kill him. I want to kill him. I want to slit his throat and watch the light dissapear from his motherfucking eyes because I hate him!

The tears begin to well up in my eyes and bite down on my jaw to keep them from coming out. My knuckles grip the steering wheel. Ryan unfolds his arms and scoots closer. He's eager to hear the gossip. Eager to say something smart and watch me dissolve on the inside. I know he knows he does it. He loves it.

"You're mad aren't you?" She sighs, and throws her head against the headrest. "I'm sorry. You're being so nice and I'm acting so lame. Of course they're going to talk about you! You're fabulous."

Whoa, that was unexpected.

A smile creeps upon my face, and I can't hide it.

Gabriella thinks _I'm_ fabulous!

Well of course, everyone thinks you're fabulous. You are.

Yeah, but _Gabriella_ thinks I'm fabulous!

So did Blaire! But you didn't get all hot about that.

So then why am I getting so hot about this?

Are you falling in love, Sharpay?

What?! Of course not, I haven't even known her for a day.

So? Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?

"No, I'm not mad. I just want to know what that asshole Troy Bolton has to say about me. I've sure got alot to say about his perverted self," I say.

We turn a corner, and I glance at her from the corner of my eye.

"He told me you..." she stops and sighs.

"Gabriella!"

"Okay! He told me you were gay, and that you secretly dated Blaire Clark last year."

My heart skips a beat, Ryan burst out laughing. I gasp. How could he? How the fuck could that slimey asshole!

"No. It's not true. I hate Blaire Clark," I lie, pushing down harder on the accelerator.

She seems to grow more nervous as we pick up speed, and cautiously fastens a seat belt around her body. She clears her throat and says, "I don't mind. I mean, not really."

She laughs.

And I look at her smiling face.

I laugh too.

She's beautiful.


	3. Space Invaders

_Chapter 3._

_Sharpay_

"Thanks for taking me home, Sharpay. I really appreciate it."

I smile. "Sure, anytime."

"See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, we should totally hang out sometime," Ryan leans over from the back.

She smiles at looks from him to me. "Totally."

She unbuckles her seatbelt and slides out of the car. I watch her as she jogs onto the front porch, and for the first time I notice a small latina woman standing there. Her arms are across her chest, and she wraps one of them around Gabriella's shoulders and escorts her inside, eyeing me supiciously.

I wave casually and drive away.

LlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlL

She's sitting at her computer. Her fingers move lazily across the padded keys, and her eyes are glued to the glowing screen. She doesn't look up to say hi, or ask how my day was, or even give me the third degree and ask where have I been since three o'clock in the afternoon.

"Hey, Mommie," Ryan says, plunking a kiss on her cheek.

She looks up at him adoringly, and rubs back of his hair. "Hey, sweetie. How was your day?"

Ryan glances over towards me and smirks. "Good. Sharpay met our new girl, Gabriella."

Mom's face sinks, and her eyes darken. She looks over at me and trys to force a nice smile, but she looks absolutely disgusted. She clears her throat and lunges her gaze towards me.

"Oh. That's very nice." She plays with the ring on her finger. And no, not her wedding one. The big, rocky diamond slabbed across a nice hunk of gold that _he_ gave her.

Ryan's devious smirk grows wider, and he places a hand on my mother's shoulder. "She gave her a ride home today," his eyes stay on me and I glare at him with growing anger.

Mom cries inside and she can no longer look at me. She shifts uncomfortably and places her small, freckled fingers on the keypad as if she is about to type something. "Well, let's hope her mother knows."

Let's hope her mother knows? Fuck you, Mom.

LlLlLlL

"I just don't get why she's such a bitch!"

"Sharpay, come on, she's not _that_ bad."

I roll my eyes and lean back into my pillow while Ryan, the Momma's Boy, stands up for the Number One Skank in Alberquerque. My dear mother. I don't listen to him because we have this conversation almost every night in my bedroom, and he always says the same thing.

"Can you blame her for acting that way Shar? I mean, Daddy doesn't act the much of the same around me anymore either but I learn to deal. Imagine if your precious daughter, the one you imagined to grow up and have kids and get married to some rich hunk, tells you she's gay. Wouldn't you be dissapointed?"

I scratch my leg and look up at him. "No. How could she be dissapointed? It's not like I've done _anything_ wrong!"

He sighs. "Shar, get real. All of her dreams for you have been crushed. Put yourself in her position."

"Get real about what? I hate her."

"You don't _hate_ her. She's your momma, come on."

"No," I snap angrily, "She's not my mother. She doesn't deserve to be anymore."

He backs away from my bedpole and places himself on the edge of my bed. "Maybe that's the same way she feels about you."

An anger flares but I water it down, deciding not to get to heated at Ryan tonight. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, Sharpay," He groans. He rubs his eyes, tired and annoyed, and I just really want to drop this conversation. "It's just...well...we've been through so much and...do I have to explain this to you!"

Whatever. "Okay, I'm tired of talking about this."

Mom and I used to be the best of friends. We used to get along. She was the only real friend I had growing up. While Daddy was away at work, Mom and I used to go shopping, to the movies, and talked about all sorts of things. She was the only person I could seriously confide in.

Daddy and I have always been close as well. But not like the way Mom and I were. I couldn't talk about my problems like I could with my mom. He's not the type of person that will actually sit there and listen like mommy used to be.

I never saw him much and I still don't.

I don't talk to my mom, can't.

"Shar, are you even listening to what I'm saying over here?"

I sigh. "No I'm not."

He shakes his head. "Always getting lost up in that small brain of yours." He chuckles, and stands.

I smile at him. "Get out, Ryan," I glare playfully.

"One day you'll put that brain to use, and have a beautiful success." He walks backwards, looking at me.

I laugh a little. "Stop going over Alex's house. His parents are no good for you."

He stops and raises an eyebrow at me. "Well, he is."

"Ew! Oh my god, Ryan you're so gay!"

LlLlLlLlL

I'm cruising through the streets in my car. Ryan is fooling with the radio. The windows and hood is down, and the wind lifts my hair. I giggle and adjust the black Chanel glasses covering half my face. Ryan smiles at me, half laughing, and screams into the warm morning air.

Even though school awaits for us, I'm rather eager to get there today. I don't know why.

Is it possible to actually feel happy because you know happiness is just around the corner?

But what happiness do I have to look forward too?

Surely, not any of my classes or electives, and I have no real friends. So what am I excited for?

Gabriella.

No, it can't be Gabriella. Can it?

**A Word From The Author:** I will no longer be using hyphens as spaces between sections in my stories because fanfiction is no longer allowing me to. So now I'll just be using LlL.Sorry that the chapter has lack of action, I'm planning on writing lengthier chapters once spring break is over. Also, I sincerely apologize for your two (has it been more?) week wait. Spring break, boys, parents, friends and daughterely duty calls! As always, please leave your thoughts I really appreciate them and I love reading them.

xoAllison


	4. Holes In The Knees

_Chapter 4. _

_Sharpay_

"Oh my god, Sharpay! I am _so_ going to fail."

Ryan is so melodramatic. It get's on my damn nerves. "No you're not, now be quiet or else I'll pinch you."

He is quiet after I tell him this, because pinching may sound like a lame way to hurt someone, but it can be very effective. I turn around and smile in satisfaction. I'm finally able to get Ryan to shut the hell up.

I tap my pen lazily against the edge of my desk, and look up at Ms. Helms. This is so gay. Tests are a waste of everyone's time. Especially my own.

All they show is your ability to fill in tiny little bubbles and answer stupid questions. Honestly, who really wants to sit here and bubble in a bunch of fucking letters to questions you'll probably get wrong because you filled in the bubble to lightly, or, you went outside of the bubble.

Please, fuck me why don't you.

Ms. Helms small fingers slide a packet of papers onto my desk. I read the question silently to myself, circle letter C, and move on.

--

Drama rehearsals are every Wednesday promptly at three o'clock after school. It's usually held in the auditorium, before the basketball idiots arrive for six o'clock practice.

Ryan and I arrive first, scripts in hand, and then in comes Kelsi with her piles of music papers. She's a small girl, with plain hair, thick glasses, and a hat that covers half of her face. She takes a seat at the piano and begins warming up with piano scales. After Kelsi, Becky Keyano and Keith Ling arm in arm. They giggle and talk about something and then take a seat on stage.

"Okay Shar, let's start with Mi, May, Maw." Ryan turns towards me. He opens his mouth wide and starts with the wide hand gestures. His voice comes out sweet and loud, and he looks absolutely ridiculous.

Honestly, I think half of the vocal excercises we do are crazy. But of course it's all for show.

"Alright ladies and gentleman!" Mrs. Darbus calls out. She claps her fat hands together.

"Let's get started, shall we? Act Four, Scene Six, Sharpay dear you have the line."

The twenty of us turn our scripts, and I read out my line as dramatically as possible. I catch a smirk from Mrs. Darbus out of the corner of my eye as I read my lines. We all know how good of an actress I am, but let's not brag shall we?

After practice, Ryan bids me goodbye. He goes off to the office to catch a ride home with Alex. I'm happy to be alone, for once.

I love school when nobody else is around. It's so silent, so big and vast. I feel like I have all of it too myself, like I could dance naked and not worry about anyone watching. I sing aloud to a new song by Gwen Stefani, cherishing the harminous echo my voice makes in the empty hallways.

I feel safe. Safe to just be myself and relax for once.

"Sharpay? Is that you singing?"

I turn suddenly.

Gabriella is standing there, smiling and wide eyed. I feel my face flush hot, and I can't make any words come out of my mouth. I must sound like a retard.

"Uh-erm-well-uhhmm, uhh ."

She giggles, and walks over beside me. I catch a whiff of her vanilla perfume. Mmmm. Yummy.

"Wow, you're an amazing singer. You should totally consider taking it further." She says, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

I notice she's carrying the same books as yesterday. "Well, I'm sort of coming from drama rehearsal. It's a musical."

She raises her eyebrows. "Oh. That's cool. I love Musicals! Which one?"

I clear my throat, and try to relax a little. "Uh, _High School Musical_. I have the part of Ashley, the mean one."

"Ooooo, I see. It fits you very well." She laughs, and I force out one too. We're standing face to face. I can't help but notice how incredibly amazing her eyes are. They're so rich and brown. But they aren't like any sort of eyes I've seen before. They're sad...unreadable maybe? They have no emotion.

Not like Blaire's gorgeous eyes. So full of life and energy. Or Ryan's. Sometimes his flare with fire, and it's so easy to tell how he's actually feeling by the look in his eye. But it's different with Gabriella. Her eyes are closed. No feeling behind them.

Dead.

I want to crack her. I want to be able to read her eyes. I want to know her. Not just know her, I want to know her better than anyone else in the world. When she's smiling, and everyone else thinks she's happy, I want to be able to be the one who knows she's not.

"So..what are you doing here so late anyway?"

Yeah, what is she doing here so late? I mean, she's new how many activities could she have joined by now?

"School Decathalon. This girl Taylor forced me to join. But she's really nice though."

Taylor. Oh, how I hate that bitch. So evil and caniving. I just want to rip her weave out of her head, and shove it down her throat. Dig my nails into her eyes, and make them bleed. Well okay, that's a little dramatic but I seriously loathe that girl. I have my reasons.

"Oh. School Decathalon, do you like it?"

Of course she likes it. Gabriella doesn't really seem like the kind of person that you could pushover. And plus, she's a genuis practically. I wish I could be like that.

She shakes her head side to side and squints her eyes a little. "It's alright. I'm pretty good at it."

I nod my head and act like I understand. And since I'm being honest here, I have to admit I've always wanted to join the Decathalon. Secretly of course. It's like I've ever mentioned any of it to Ryan or so on.

Gabriella licks her lips and stretches her neck. I just stare at her, like a fool. I have no clue what to say.

After a couple of minutes I say, "Do you like it here? I mean, is it alot different from Texas?" I know, I know. She's probably been asked this a million and one times before. But I've got nothing else.

She shrugs. "It's nice...okay. Just a little different from back home."

"Do you miss your friends and family? Do you miss it there?"

She crosses her eyebrows, struggling with the question. "Well, I had friends. But we sort of...sort of...stopped talking after...after time...time away."

"What about your dad? Where is he?"

She blushes a deep shade of red, and something dark washes over her face. "I...I...I have to go."

She quickly fixates her backpack, and practically runs out of the school. I'm left standing there, lost and confused.

What the hell was that all about?

**A Word From The Author: **So, I promised the wait for the next story wouldn't be long, and it wasn't. Thanks so much to all of you who read and review this! Without you all I would be nothing. I hopefully won't be as busy so I can finish this story up, whenever that is. Spring break caught me completely off guard. As always, reviews are SO welcomed and appreciated. Leave your thoughts.


	5. Aw, Man!

**A Word From The Author:** Hello, loves. Excuse me for the short absence. I've needed time to collect myself emotionally. Check out my short little one shot, Unbroken. Your thoughts are always welcome.

_Chapter 5._

_Sharpay_

Sometimes, I really do hate Daddy. After three months of being away on business, he still comes home smelling of perfume and lipstick, wearing that stupid smile across his wrinkled face. Before he even had the chance to unpack his things and say hello to the family, he goes to _her_ house.

My mother's eyes are on fire. Ryan has her eyes. Cold, crystal blue. So readable. She's livid but she won't let you know it. She resumes typing, keeping her eyes awkwardly plastered to the laptop screen. I grip the edge of my chair, and smile as my father walks towards me.

"Hi Daddy." I coo. He leans down to kiss my cheek. Paris that's what _she_ wears. I know because I _have_ Paris. I _wear_ Paris. My heart suddenly fills for a disgusting hate towards my father.

"Hello, sweetheart." He says. He throws his jacket on the table.

Mom looks up from her computer screen, as if she is for the first time realizing he's there. Her lips are pressed into a thin line. Her expression is stone cold. She's almost scary to look at.

This is not going to turn out very pleasant.

"Well, hello there Walther. Isn't it nice of you to waltz in after three months." She says.

Daddy sighs, and leans against the table, running a hand through his graying hair. The pleased look on his face hasn't dissapeared, but he looks tired. I bet he wants to just go to sleep. Sometimes I wish Mom would stop getting on his case. I mean, we all know he's cheating on the old hag.

"Charise, please cut the crap for tonight. I'm tired and would just love to go upstairs and sleep." He tells her. He collapses into a wooden chair and begins to remove his shoes.

"I bet you've been doing alot of sleeping with that girl, haven't you?" She stands now, her hands sitting firmly on her hips.

Ryan looks up at them from his book, and I can tell he's not really reading it. I take my nail filer and begin to scrape it against my nails.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Daddy decides to play innocent tonight. Tonight the truth comes out.

"Oh you know plenty of what I'm talking about Walther! That twenty-five year old girl that you've been creeping with for the past four years! Don't play stupid with me!" She raises her voice.

Daddy rolls his eyes, and moans. "Charise what girl? We've been married twenty years!"

Mom comes around the side of the table. "I can't believe you. After all that I have sacrificed for you!"

Sometimes, I feel bad for Mom. She has given up alot. I mean, any mother has. She gave up her body to have Ryan and I. She gave up free life to be married to my father. She gave up her job, her true passion to move to Alberquerque so my father, Ryan, and I could have a better life. She left her family to come here.

We used to be really close. As a family. We used to eat dinner together every night. We used to go out as a family. We used to watch movies as a family. Even have a cheesy little game night. They used to take us trick-or-treating when we were young, and Mom and I used to bake cookies together all the time.

That was our thing - baking. We used to bake all kinds of sweets. Cupcakes, cookies, brownies, buns, you name it - we made it. I used to come home after school, crying because the kids teased me. I remember she would take out the cookie mix, and hand me the big wooden spoon.

But then, Daddy started working later and later. Some days I didn't even see him because he'd come home so late and leave so early in the morning. And one afternoon, while Ryan and I were eating macaroni and cheese with ketchup, Daddy came bursting through the door.

He picked me up in his giant arms and swang me around and around, dancing. He kissed my mother with passion, and yelled on about how we were going to be rich. I didn't understand most of it, I was only twelve and never paid any attention to his work talk. But I understood when we started packing, and I said goodbye to my little blue house.

--

"No! Oh my gosh, I fucking hate you Anthony!"

"Shar? What's going -"

"Shut the fuck up Ryan!" I scream at him. I turn my back and turn my attention back to the boy on the other line. "I can't believe this! Two weeks before the show and you drop out!" I yell at Anthony. Ryan and Alex sit terrified on the living room sofa.

"How could you be so ignorant?" I shout. I hear Anthony sigh loudly and annoyed.

"It's not my fault Sharpay." He says.

"Oh really! So, someone _made _you act like a dumbass and go mattress surfing down Ricky Jenkins staircase?" I spit furiously into my phone.

"Well..no, but I was pressured and - oh, Sharpay! I said I'm sorry, and I know this show meant alot to you but -"

"Of course it meant alot to me! Jaquel Cauyve is going to be there! Do you know who fucking Jaquel Cauyve is?!" I yell flinging my arm. Alex and Ryan exchange a look.

I get another long, loud sigh from Anthony.

"Sharpay, look, it was an accident. There's nothing I can do." He insists.

"Oh yeah it was an accident! Just like last time when you broke your collar bone two nights before opening at Lava Springs! Or the time before that when you sprained your toe and didn't bother to call and tell me you weren't able to make it. Well guess what, Anthony, you're one of the best dancers in New Mexico but, I'll find better! You're out of my group, I'm not dealing with your shit anymore and that's a final decision!"

He whimpers. "Sharpay, please. I'm begging you! Don't kick me out, I need you!"

"Well I'm tired of your begging! You're out and don't bother to show up to rehearsal!" I slam the phone into the receiver, annoyed and frustruated with his whiny voice.

Let me tell you a little something about Anthony Pirek. He is a selfish, annoying, whiny little brat who thinks he's the best in the whole fucking world! Well guess what! Anthony can go fuck around with some other chick because I'm not dealing with him anymore. I can't deal with unreliable people like him. Ugh!

"So? I guess that means we're auditioning for a new dancer?" Ryan chuckles, mocking me slightly. He loves to see me upset like this.

I collapse into a chair, and cross my legs. "It's just not fair to me! We've been practicing so hard for so long!" I complain, slamming my fists against the countertop. My eye meets Alex's and suddenly I have an idea. "Hey Alex, didn't Gabriella tour with a band?"


	6. Camisado

_Chapter 6._

_Sharpay_

I know I come off as cold and stand-offish but I do have feelings. Everyday, my heart aches for something - someone to love and to love me back. I want to fall in love, get swept off my feet. Sometimes, it's okay, and I don't feel the pain as much. But late at night, like right now, it's all over me.

And it hurts like hell. I'm sad, but I can't cry. I think I've cried myself dry.

I want to have someone who loves me for me. I want to have someone who knows that I'm rich, who knows that I'm an heir to my fathers' money but still treats me like a regular person. I want that. Just someone to hold me, smile at me because they're happy just to see me.

Why can't life ever be on my side?

--

Gabriella is sitting at the library table. All alone. I'm determined. She is writing and reading as I approach. As I sit down, her eyes catch glimpse of me, and she puts down her pen.

"Morning." I smile.

"Hi." She says coldly.

So, this sucks pretty much. She looks at me awkwardly and puts her eyes back to her books and papers. I'm going to get her attention. I will.

"Hey, umm..I was just wondering," She stops writing. "I'm in this group and...I heard that you toured with a band. And I _really_ need a dancer so, could you help me out?"

She smirks still looking at her paper. "I don't know.."

"Oh, please! It's really fun, and I have some awesome dance moves. Plus, you could meet alot of new people and it's something to do. Instead of sitting around studying all the time, at least you have something fun to work for! Please, Gabriella, I really need this!" I can't believe I'm actually begging her to dance for me. That's a first.

"I don't really think so." She looks at me. Her face is stone cold, expressionless. Her eyes are dark.

"Don't you like performing?"

"Not...not any..." She quickly gathers her books and papers and stands. "I have to get to class." And then she's gone, again. Her hair flying behind her, running away.

Did I do something?

--

"I just don't get it, Ry!"

"Shar, she's a pretty strange girl. I mean she freaks out over the simplest things. Like we were working on a paper in American Government, and Mr. Barter was standing over her shoulder, just watching what she was writing. She turned and looked at him, and practically jumped out of her seat when she saw him standing there. She's a weird chick." Ryan tells me this, before biting into his apple and happily munching away.

I shrug my shoulders, and rest my chin in my hands. "Maybe she just doesn't like me."

Ryan snorts and takes a sip of water. "No. She likes you. She'd be wild not to. You're amazing."

That's suprising. He must have gotten some last night. "You and Alex play 'house' last night?"

He smiles deviously and blushes. "Am I glowing?"

I hit him playfully. "Oh, whatever, Ryan. I don't even know why I'm trying so hard to get her to like me. She deserves a good friend. She's a nice girl. She doesn't deserve someone who'll bring her trouble and chaos. Like me."

He puts his arm around my shoulders. "Hush, darling. You're awesome trouble and awesome chaos. Gabriella probably has alot going on. I mean, new school, new house. Having to make all new friends. I mean, wouldn't you be a little crazy too?"

I remove his arm from my shoulder. "Wow! Alex must be good."

Ryan laughs and kisses my cheek. "Trust me sista..he is!"

My insides turn. "You're such a homo."

He winks. "Possibly.."

--

"Sharpay?"

I'm sitting outside during free period. I was staring blankly at my script, my legs crossed, and fingernails tapping the hard metal bench. Mrs. Darbus will kill me if I'm not prepared for next week.

I turn my head.

"Hey," I say to Gabriella. She's playing with the tips of her hair; She's nervous.

"I want to just say...that I'm sorry." She sighs. "Running out on you like that was completely uncalled for."

I sit up and give her a tiny smile. "It's alright. We all have our moments."

She nods and swallows hard. "You don't even know me. You're just trying to be nice and I'm acting so stupid."

"I would like to get to know you." I tell her, sitting my papers beside me and uncrossing my legs. I pat the seat next to me, motioning her to sit down and she does. My insides tingle.

"Do you still want me to be a dancer for you?" She asks. I'm staring so hard at her, and she's just looking at her knees nervously.

"Well...I'd have to audition you first.."

She looks at me and smiles. I laugh. "Sure. We can meet tonight, six o'clock, Lava Springs."

Gabriella nods and giggles. It's so perfect..so high and sweet. "I'll be there."

--

You know what I love about her? She makes me smile with out even trying. I deserve this.

**A Word From The Author:** Leave your blessings.


	7. Stay Beautiful

_Chapter 7._

_Sharpay_

"Come on guys let's go through this again!" I yell, my voice echoing throughout the hollow room.

Everybody groans with frustruation. We've been at this for nearly three hours non-stop, but I won't quit until it's perfect. I mean you'd think after four months of rehearsals, Cody wouldn't have noodly arms, Sarah would have her salsa perfected by now, and Mike would be able to count out steps but of course not!

I won't look like a fool in front of everyone.

"Sharpay," Jessica complains slugging over to me. "We're amazing. Can't we just take a break?"

I snort. Who the hell does this chick think she is? I'm paying her _hundreds of dollars_ to make me look good and she wants a break? Oh, please. "Jessica, did I _ask_ if you wanted to take a break?"

She turns her head, and scratches her hair. "Uhmm...well...no?"

"Exactly, now get into position!" I demand. She rolls her eyes and Ryan presses play on the CD player.

As soon as the music starts, I throw myself into the beat. Tension builds, my muscles tighten, and then it releases. I grip my michrophone and breathe into it.

"Dying inside cause I can't stand it. Make up break up can't take this madness." I sing. The dancers back me up with high-pitched _oohh's_ as Ryan joins in singing with me.

I can feel the beat penetrating inside my body, allowing me to move loosely around the dance floor. I let my michrophone drop back to my side as Ryan picks up his solo line. He bops his head and smiles, sweat pouring off of his forehead. The dancers sway in the back, keeping up the back vocals and harmony.

Feeling the passion burning up inside, I smile. The music takes over completely and I scream my lyrics into the michrophone. I can't control it any longer, I'm off on my high, my drug.

Slowly, as the song comes to a close, I relax and pay more attention to my dancers who still have noodly arms and are off tempo. My eyes glance towards the door and I see Gabriella. My body jumps slightly, and I lose my step. Molly, Amira, Gregory, and Benita all collide into each other and land on the floor.

The rest of the group stops.

Benita untangles herself, and glares at me. "What the hell was all of that, Sharpay?"

Gregory brushes himself off. "Yeah, so much for that."

"After all of your screaming, you fuck up. Hipocrit." Molly spits nastily, helping Amira to a stand.

I smooth out my shirt. "Fuck off guys. Cody was distracting me waving his arms like he's at some kind of rap concert."

I feel a hand creep around my shoulder, and realize it's Ryan. "Or, did something else distract you?" His eyes gesture towards Gabriella standing shyly in the doorway.

I push him away, and give everyone a ten minute break.

--

"You guys are awesome."

We're standing outside. My hair is tied back in a sweaty ponytail, and Gabriella's leaning against the wall. "It's not easy."

"Your voice is so ... mellow ... so rich in tone." Gabriella says. Her mind fades away.

I giggle, staring at the ground, hoping the dim lighting will hide the red hot blush creeping up my cheeks. "Compliments are appreciated," I smile. "But never get you anywhere in my book."

"Well, anyways," Gabriella snaps back to real life and shakes her head. "Sorry I'm a little late. I...uhmm, had to d-drop uh .. some s-stuff off." She adjusts the weight of her bag on her shoulder, and bows her head bashfully. She suddenly looks a little nervous.

"Oh, no, it's perfectly fine. Don't stress yourself." I say.

She smiles at me. "Really?"

I nod my head. "Of course. Nobody's perfect."

"You live and you learn it!" She sings, and we both giggle.

A shiver creeps up my spine and I shudder. Her smile will truly be the end of me.

--

_Her small hands are on my shoulders. I feel her breath against my neck._

_"Sharpay." She giggles. I smile. I love the way my name slips from her thin lips. She makes it sound so exotic with her French accent. _

_I turn myself around, facing her bright face. She looks so yummy. She pulls me closer to her, wrapping her arms around my naked back. I lean in and intake her familiar scent. She's so warm and comforting, I just want to melt into her body...her soul and combine as one. _

_Outside it is raining. _

_"Blaire?" I ask, looking into her baby blue eyes. They're so deep. I feel my body go weak. _

_She smiles, and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "Yes, Sharpay." _

_I'm not scared to say this. I want this. I want her. Need her. "I-I-I love you."_

_Her skin turns dark, and her eyes are ice. She does not like this. Her body tenses and she purses her lips. "No..no..Sharpay. You don't. You don't love me." _

_I laugh. I don't get it. I said it. I meant it. I love her. Why is she denying it? _

_"Yeah I do. I'm in love with you." _

_She rolls her eyes and pulls away from me. She throws the sheets to the floor and climbs out of my arms. I hear her feet touch the carpet and she pulls on her shirt. _

_"Where are you going?" _

_"Away." _

_"Away?"_

_She looks at me with a stone cold face while pulling on her loosely fitting jeans. "You can't love me, okay? It'll ruin everything. I'm enjoying this. So, you don't you dare __**love**__ me." _

--

I loved her. I did. Or, I thought I did. Either way I think I like someone else now.

**A Word From The Author: **Sorry the chapters are so short. I haven't had much interest in writing, and I haven't had much time either. I'll work something out for you guys. As always and forever, reviews are so welcomed and appreciated. I love them. And if you haven't already, check out my new one shot, Unbroken. I usually wouldn't write a Troyella but I had this amazing idea. It's only a one shot. If you like .. leave one.

xoAllison


	8. If You Stay

**A Word From The Author: **I am so very sorry for the long wait. I had not originally planned for it to take this long. There is no excuse. I don't blame any of you who want to punch me, or give up on me. I'd be nothing without my faithful reviewers (you!) . As always, reviews are sooo appreciated and your thoughts are always welcomed.

xoAllison.

_Chapter 8._

_Sharpay_

Here it is again. The rain is hitting the window, the wind is blowing. My room is dark and everyone is sleeping. My heart is beating, faster, faster. I'm trapped again. Back in the same place I'm in.

Every. Single. Night.

_He's laughing. His dark hair glimmering in the sun. We sitting by the pool, our legs dangling in the clear water._

_"Sharpay ... Sharpay ... " He whispers. _

_I look at him. God he's so beautiful. He leans over and kisses my ear. _

_The water is cold against my feet. The sun is warm on my back. He wraps his arms around me, his lips still against my ear._

_"I love you." _

I'm sweating. My skin is sticking together between my legs. Red numbers burn through me. 4:00am. My body is shaking, I can hardly stand as I push myself up from the bed.

I can't breathe. I need it. I have too.

I walk into my closet. All the way to the back. A box tucked away on the top shelf, hiding and lonely. My chest heaves up and down. I reach my arms up, my sweaty fingers wrapping around the sides and pulling it down. I collapse on the floor, against the wall.

Something inside me screams to leave it alone. Put the box back, forget it. Don't let it hurt you, no, not anymore. I don't listen I ignore this.

I want this. I have to have this. I need to feel him.

I slide the top off with a small push of my fingertips. It clatters to the floor with a soft thud. My eyes are stinging, burning. I feel my face. No tears.

Stop, Sharpay. Put it back. Leave this alone, let this be.

I go against my judgement and close my eyes. My hand wanders into the box, and my heart shatters all over again. Everything that was ever important to him are _right here_.

They were going to take away his things. They boxed it all up and sold it. I screamed, I had a fit. I wasn't going to let them take him away from me. I needed to have a piece of him, just one thing. So I stole a box. I picked the one I knew he would've picked if he had ever had to choose.

Everything else was tossed. All gone and sold and thrown out. When I saw his baseball glove at the local flea market, I almost passed out. I was so mad. I could've killed someone. Really I almost did. I bought it and walked away. Everything else of his was left behind, along with my heart.

I don't have a heart. I don't _feel_ anymore. I cried so much those first two years, I don't know how to cry anymore. I feel the leather and pick up the glove, rubbing it against my cheek.

It smells like him. Sweet and smokey. It's cold. There is no big strong hand to keep it warm anymore. The wind blows and tree branches tap my window. My room is dark but I don't switch on any lights. I look at the glove and slip it onto my hand, letting my fingers roam the rough inside.

I wasn't always gay. Until he was gone.

I miss you, Micheal.

--

"What time is everyone coming over?"

"When they get here." I say, not paying full attention to Ryan. I can't figure out which way to do my hair...

"Well, fine. I have to go get Alex."

I should braid it. "Kay."

He rolls his eyes and turns to leave but looks back at me. "Hey, is Gabriella coming?"

For a moment, I look away from the mirror and at my brother. "Maybe."

--

I'm flipping through _Seventeen_ when I hear the doorbell go off. Oh, god. They must be here. I throw the magazine aside and pull open the door.

Gabriella's standing there. I gave her my address and directions yesterday at rehearsal. She looks amazing.

"Hi." It's quick and high.

"Hey. Come in, come in." I wave her inside and shut the door.

Is it me, or did the room suddenly get ... I don't know ... brighter?

She looks up at the twinkinling chandelier and high ceiling. "Wow. Your house is _huge_!"

"Yeah." I say sheepishly, scratching the side of my face.

She's wearing her hair up in a loose bun. Her dress is white with orange and pink flowers and comes down to her knees, showing off her nice, smooth-looking legs. She's blushing and her lips are a nice, pinkish color. She's wearing a little more makeup then she usually does. I know this might be stupid but, I wonder if she dressed up for me. It's a little cheesy and lame, I know. But thinking about it makes me tingle.

"You want to sit in the living room? They should be here any second." I show her to the living room, a place hardly used. She takes a seat on our couch and quickly picks up my Dean Koontz novel, _The Husband_.

"I love Koontz!" She exclaims, gushing over the book. She quickly flips it open to the first page and turns to read the first page but resists. She looks at me uncomfortably, and sets it back on the table. "Sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. You can read it, it's not like it's mine or anything." I smirk.

She gives me a small smile."Oh..I just don't want to be rude."

"You're not. Not at all, don't be so worried! And I like Koontz too, he's very odd."

"Yeah," She nods, understanding. "Who gave this to you?"

I choke on my own spit. She's waiting for me to answer but ... I can't. I can feel the wound reopening again.

The door opens. Thank the Lord. "Ryan?" I call out, standing up and leaving Gabriella alone.

I see him arm in arm with Alex, with half of East High's student body behind them. Damn you, Ryan! I groan. Can't you learn to just keep your fucking mouth shut about things like these?

"I'm sorry." She tells me, as the assholes or , excuse me my ''classmates'' herd into my living room.

I'm suddenly pissed at her. She's not sorry. "Whatever," I snap, walking away.

If it wasn't for Gabriella, I'd probably go to find Jason and get drunk with him since he usually provides the alcohol. But since she's here, I want everyone to leave and have their own party far away from here. I don't want to get drunk and fuck the whole softball team.

I just want to be alone with Gabriella and talk.

"Well looky here! It's Miss Pay-Pay!" Rick, captain of the soccer team swings his arm around my shoulders. He's already half-drunk and his breath smells horribly of alcohol. "Your house is like sooooooo fucking cool!" He looks down at me. "Hey, wait, aren't you like .. gay or something?" He cracks up.

"Get the hell off me!" I scream, detaching his arm from me and shoving him into a corner. He stumbles and keeps laughing.

"Let me know when your girlfriend Nicole shows up, ight?" He slurs, chuckling.

Aw, hell no. Not Nicole. Oh, god not Nicole.

"Sharpaaaaayyyyyyyy!"

Fuck. Excuse me.

My nostrils are suddenly hit with that reeking designer - imposter perfume she wears. I know it was her by the way she just squealed my name. I turn around and see her standing there.

"Nicole." I say, folding my arms and raising my eyebrow. She struts over to me, throwing her arms around me like we were best friends. Nicole's hot. No doubt about it, she's sexy. She has a slamming body (Tall, curves in all the right places and long legs) and she's got a pretty face too.

Nicole and I well ... we sort of have a little history. The night Blaire left me, Nicole and I hooked up. I was drunk as hell and we had sex. It was quick and rough, meaningless in the backseat of her car. That's it. I don't care for her whatsoever, and I'd never let that whore touch me ever again.

"Oh, no need for hostility Sharpay." She giggles still hanging onto my neck. I push her away quickly.

That's it. I storm off to find Ryan who's liplocked or more like tongue locked with Alex in a private corner. Stunningly, Gabriella is with them just watching, amused.

"Ryan!" I shout, stomping over to him. He pulls his face away from Alex's suprised and frustruated.

"What?" Alex looks at him, and starts ... licking ... the side of his face, ugh, gross!

"You invited all of your stupid friends! Can I ask why?"

He cringes, scooting away from Alex. "Sorry, Shar it was all Jenna's fault."

I'm livid. Boiling. I can feel the steam about to explode from my ears. "Who the hell is Jenna!?"

"Anthony's girlfriend."

"I'll kill the bitch!"

"Relax Sharpay." Alex says, wrapping an arm around me and leading me over to a chair. Gabriella stares from the other side.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Gabriella." I apologize sincerely. "I only invited a few people but ..."

She holds up her hand and shakes her head. "No, it's fine. Not your fault at all. But I think it's time for me to go." She begins to stand and I jump up, shoving Alex off.

"No! Please don't go. I'll find somewhere to sit, alone, just me and you but please don't leave."

She bites down on her lip and looks at me for a second. "Okay...but not for long."


	9. Just Be There

**A Word From The Author:** I know some of you are probably confused, especially about Micheal and what's going on. But I promise it'll all come together soon. All I can say is there are secrets to be revealed on both girls' sides. I'm sorry if I dissapointed any of you with the last chapter. I've sat down and really worked hard to get this one finished. Tell me your thoughts.

xoAllison

_Chapter 9._

_Sharpay_

Rock music is blaring from the stereo's speakers and everyone is dancing. I see Nicole and Rick practically having sex on the couch. I look behind me to make sure Gabriella hasn't been lost or ran off somewhere.

She's following me quietly, avoiding contact at all costs. I suck in a breath and take her hand, pushing our way through the crowd. Butterflies swarm inside me when she doesn't pull away.

My hand twists the doorknob to Daddy's office. Nobody is allowed in here except for him where he often gets wasted or high. Yeah I know, a fifty year old getting high. Real winner right? I close the door and Gabriella quickly begins searching the shelves of his bookcases.

"This is quite the collection." She admires. She turns and smiles at me, taking a seat on the lovesofa next to the window. "This is nice ... quiet. Alot better than out there." She points towards the door.

I chuckle. "Yeah. It can get a little crazy," I say taking a seat next to her. "So, tell me. What's your story?" I smile, throwing my legs up ontop of the small table in front of us.

Her face flushes a shade of red that makes her look sexy, and claps her hands together. "I don't know why you want to be around me so much, Sharpay. There's absolutely _nothing_ special about me at all."

"Sure there is. There's something special about everyone. So tell me anything, anything at all."

She pulls her eyes towards me, and our eyes meet. She has a perfect heart-shaped face. Nice plump lips. I look over her whole, amazing physique, planting her image inside my memory.

"Well, I like Elvis Costello and I've never seen _Star Wars_ or _Harry Potter_." She tells me. I bust out laughing.

"That was random." I say through giggles. "But...I've never seen them either."

She breathes a sigh of relief. "Seriously? I mean, I thought I was the only one!" She tells me. I notice her perfect, small hands, and the way they move as she talks. I'm tingling all over.

"Well, if I count as anything, you're not the only one." I tuck my leg underneath me.

"So, what about you Sharpay? What's your story?"

My story. There is none. Nothing about me is special at all, nothing. "There isn't one. I'm just...me."

"No," She says, "I think there's more to it than that."

"There's not," I say. "Trust me."

She leans back into the couch, attempting to look more relaxed. She props her feet up onto the coffee table, her fingers laced together over her stomach. I study her face. She's flushed, her cheeks a nice natural shade of pink. Her lips are red from chewing on them constantly. I glance down at her legs. I've never seen legs so in shape so...muscular and sexy.

"Your legs," I begin, quickly running a finger over her lower calf. "They're amazing. I wish I had legs like that." I giggle. By the way, her legs feel so good! That one second I had my finger on it, Christ it was fucking _awesome_. They're so smoothly shaven, and soft with lotion. I just want to melt into her.

She nods, chuckling. "Well, I was a dancer, as you already know a long time ago."

"Why a long time ago?" I ask. "What happened?"

She looks off, as if she were seeing it all playing in front of her. Her eyes widen and her breaths are starting to be come heavy and ragged. She squeezes her eyes shut, and puts her hands over her temples, massaging them.

"Oh, Gabriella, it's okay," I tell her, scooting a little closer to her. "You don't have to tell me."

She swallows a lump in her throat, opens her eyes to look at me. For the first time I see her so vulnerable, like a child. Her eyes are soft, not cold and stoney like usually. She nods her head. "Thank you, Sharpay," She says softly.

I nod. I understand. "I didn't mean to upset you," I say.

She shakes her head. "No, no. It's not your fault. You're just trying to know me and...I don't know why you are, but I really don't feel like explaining that."

I smile at her. "Sure. It's okay."

The door opens and Nicole stumbles in, drunk and reeking of booze and cigarettes. "Oh, Sharpay." She giggles, taking another swig of beer, still holding the door wide open. "Hey, baby." She laughs and saunters over to me, her hips swaying. I don't know what I ever saw in her. She's complete trash, and she can't even compare with Gabriella here.

She climbs into my lap, and wraps her arms around me. "Do you miss me?" Ugh, her breath is awful.

I push her off of me, and she bumps into my father's desk, rupturing it slightly. She throws her head back and laughs at something her drunk ass thought was funny.

"Take a hike Nicole!" I take her arm, and begin dragging her towards the door. She stops and starts laughing again.

"Oh, I get it," She slurs, downing some more beer. "Get with the new girl for a while but if things don't work out...I'm always here Pay!" She squeals, looking Gabriella up and down. I don't like the way she's watching her, looking at her, sizing her up and judging her. Even if she is drunken.

"Get out Nicole." I say sharply, taking her arm and shoving her out before she has a chance to argue. I close the door and lock it this time, so no other wasted sluts wander through. I grit down on my jaw to keep from screaming and lean against the door. An awkward silence hovers above Gabriella and I.

She's staring at me funny. Damn it, damn you Nicole! I didn't want her to know. Because of the way she's looking at me, differently and I hate that look on her pretty face.

"You guys were ... together?" She asks.

I sigh angrily and close my eyes. "We hooked up once. But we weren't ever together." I really don't want to talk about this right now. Especially with her.

She moves uncomfortably but not taking her eyes off me. "You...had...sex?"

I nod and tug my braid, frustruated. "Yeah."

"With her?" She points to the door.

"Yes. I was drunk and I was just getting over Blaire. She was just a rebound girl for a night."

For a second, I hear Blaire laughing and I can smell her strawberry shampoo. I squeeze my eyes shut and collapse into my dad's chair.

"So you're..you're a lesbian?"

I feel like crying. I don't know when I planned to tell her or make my move, but I didn't want her to find out like _this_. In my father's study with the door locked and a raving party full of monsters going on in my living room. God, Nicole! Why does she always have to ruin everything?

"Yes, I am." I tell her. I stare down at my quivering hands. She nods taking it all in. "Is that a problem?" I ask.

"No! No, of course not." Gabriella assures me quickly. Geez, she's acting like I'm some kind of monster. She's definetely not down with this.

I pick at my nail. "I don't want to talk about me, anymore." I can't meet her eye. "It's...bad. Awful."

"It can't be that bad." She says. Her shield is up again. That hard, plastic shell she pulls up around herself all the time.

"Gabriella, trust me. It is. I don't know why I'm even trying to know you. I mean, I'm just trouble." I throw my head into my hands, holding back tears. "I just wanted to be someone different for once. Start over."

"That's not stupid." She says softly, playing with her fingers. I search her face for some kind of comfort or emotion, like I saw earlier but there is none. She's cold and stoney.

I stand up. "I need to get out of here. Want a drink?"

"No." She doesn't look at me.

I walk out of the room and into chaos. Ugh, I hate parties at my house. I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around.

"Hey!" It's Ryan.

"Oh, hey." I mutter. I grab an open beer can and chug it. It's warm and wets my dry lips.

He puts an arm around me. "What's up, Big Sissy?"

"Everything." I say.

"Yeah well, whatever comes up must come down right?" He says. "Where's Gabi?"

"In Daddy's study." I tell him. He nods.

"How's she?"

"I don't know.." I say, trailing off. "We were totally talking having a beautiful conversation when suddenly she puts that huge, protective shield around her. And please, Ry, pop Nicole in the face for me?"

Ryan chuckles. "She's knocked out on the front steps, Shar. Unless you want me to punch an unconcious body?"

I shake my head. "Nah." Finishing off the beer, I slam it down on the counter and return back into the study.

Gabriella's spread out on the sofa, flipping through a - oh my god!

"What the fuck are you doing!?" I yell, grabbing the book from her hands.

She jumps, sitting back. "I'm sorry, really. It was just sitting there and I got curious!"

I stare down at the page. I furrow my eyebrow and sit on the edge of the desk. It's us...me and Micheal, my first love. We were at the lake. His arms around me, my head on his shoulder, water glimmering behind us, his hand on my knee. He was looking at me, not the camera as Ryan had pushed the red button, the flash lighting us up.

There are more pictures below it. My eyes are stinging again. One of us by the pool. I'm on his back and we're smiling, faces bright and laughing. Another picture of us just smiling at the camera, so in love. Gabriella is watching me as I replay each of these memories over and over in my mind.

"Who is that?" She asks, gesturing towards Micheal.

I swallow. My throat is dry again. "That's...That's Micheal." I whisper softly. I'm mad at her for making me see this. I shut the book and stuff it back in its proper place. "You shouldn't touch people's things, Gabriella."

"Where is Micheal?"

"Just, shut _up_! I don't want to talk about him!"

Holy shit. I'm ... drained. My knees buckle and I fall to the floor.

_"It's Micheal."_

_"What about Micheal?" I say quietly. It's something bad._

_Ryan sighed on the other end. Something was definetely up. _

_"What about Micheal?" I repeated. _

_"He's dead." His voice is flat, even, as if he were reciting muliplication tables. I can hear clinking and splashing in the background._

_"Dead?" I smile, laughing. "Is this some kind of joke?" _

_More clinking and splashing and I realize he's washing dishes. "No, Shar. He died this afternoon, a motorcycle accident. He got hit by a car on Oceancrest." _

_The room is becoming smaller and smaller, my head is tightening. My fingers let go of the phone and I don't know if it hit the floor. Dead? Dead? Dead!_

I shudder, turning towards Gabriella. She's waiting for to say something, but I won't. I refuse. I get up, I can't be here right now. I've got to be somewhere else. I stumble out of the room. I can't even hear the music. All I can hear is Ryan's voice repeating those words.

_"He's dead."_

I push past all of the animals and into the kitchen. In the refridgerator is an unopened bottle of vodka. I pull it out, smiling hungrily. I twist off the cap and chug it down. I just want to forget about it. Let it go. Let it go, Sharpay.

"Do you always drink like that?"

"Christ!" I jump, practically out of my jeans, and turn to see Gabriella standing there.

"You know alcohol isn't good for you."

"Oh, really? I didn't know." I bark sarcastically taking another swig of the bitter shit.

She walks over to me and touches my arm, staring at me. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Because! It's over, done, gone, I've moved on with my life. Why go backwards?" I say, swallowing another mouthful.

She shivers. It can get a little cold around here. "It doesn't seem like you have."

I scoff, bringing the bottle to my lips. "Gee, thanks Mom." I'm being so mean. So cold and aggressive, like I am to everyone else. I don't want to be like this around her. I want to show her how soft I can be, how nice I am. I just don't want to fucking talk about _this_!

She keeps looking at me. "Did he die?"

My heart lunges into my throat. I can't fucking breathe! I lean on the counter for support. I think I might hurl.

"Stop it, please. I can't...I can't." I whimper. Why does she want to know so badly? Why is she still here, acting like she cares when I know she doesn't because nobody does.

"Put down the vodka bottle, Sharpay." She demands sharply.

I look up at her. I'm pissed. Can't she just leave this be? "Why? Just because you say so?"

She nods, reaching over and grabbing the bottle from my hand. She raises it to her perfect lips. I snatch it before she can take a sip, and throw it against the wall.

"Do not start it. Do not ever drink alcohol, okay?" I tell her.

It looked bad. Sitting in between her perfect hands, out of place and ugly. It's not her.

"Why? Just because you say so?" She replies back smartly.

I didn't know she could be so fiesty.

"No. Because I can't watch you destroy yourself like that!"

"Tell me..." Her voice is soft and sweet. Her hand is on my shoulder, her face so close to mine. "Please."

"Micheal..my first love...he was...he was.." Oh, I can't bare it. Please don't make me say it. "Killed."

**A Word From The Author: **So what's the verdict? Did you like it? Not like it? Let me know. xoAllison


	10. Jump In, Hey, Jump Out!

_Chapter 10. _

_Sharpay_

Micheal Palmero was the most amazing person in the world. He died at 4:30p.m, January Fifteenth. He had just gotten his new motorcycle. He was so excited when his dad pulled up into the driveway, as a congratulations of his passing his drivers' test. He was coming home from running to the drug store for his mom.

Turning right onto our street, a Chevy truck struck him and sent him flying twenty-five feet. They said he died immeadiately on impact. The bike totaled. Micheal was only sixteen years old.

He was the only person I ever truly loved. I hadn't known him very well until the summer when I turned fourteen and he had turned sixteen. He was tall, tan, dark-haired and gorgeous. All the girls so much prettier than me wanted him, would do anything for him. But he wanted me. _Me_.

Everybody loved him. He was perfect. He fit in with every crowd at school, always having some sort of story to tell in exchange for candy or a cigarette or lunch money. He was so unusual, so different from everyone else but yet he was the person to be around. The guy every other guy was jealous of, the guy every girl wanted to date.

I remember one picture I snapped of him, leaning against the side of the ice cream shop. The sun was setting, it was a warm summer night, he was blowing smoke out of his mouth and trying not to laugh as I pressed the red button.

I'd always warned him to be careful on that thing. It was dangerous, I didn't like him speeding around on it the way he did. The first time he got hit, he had sprained his wrist and couldn't ride for almost a month.

I can remember throwing up at the funeral Just throwing up everything I've ever eaten. Heaps and heaps of vomit litering the floors. I don't remember anything about the church, just vomit and more vomit. My mother dragged me into the car, drove me home.

I've never gotten over Micheal. I couldn't love any other boy after that. It just wasn't the same, but I guess girls weren't any better after last year with Blaire. Life hasn't been on my side for the past four years.

I wonder if things will ever get any better.

--

Gabriella is sitting on the grass out front of the Palmero's old house. They packed up and moved away a couple of weeks after they buried him. I'm lying on my back with my arm covering my face.

"Does everyone know?"

I sigh, trying to control my ragged breath. "Yes," I answer, "I hate talking about it."

"Ryan knows?" Gabriella asks, tugging a tuft of grass out of the soft soil.

"Of course. He was the one who called me while I was away at my grandmother's and told me. Even though he's an asshole, I love him, he's helped me through everything." My head is pounding. I really could use some Tylenol. "How late is it?"

"Hold on," She tells me, digging in her pocket and pulling out a cellphone. She flips it open. "Twelve."

Shit. I groan loudly and roll onto my stomach. My parents will be home in an hour. The grass tickles my nostrils and I'm itching in weird places.

"Are you gonna be okay if I leave?" She questions giving me a soft look. She reaches out and lays her small hand on my back. It gives me butterflies because it's the first time she's touched me. It's so light and angelic or something ...

"Yeah. I can take care of myself." I say, looking up at her. I give her a small grin.

She giggles. "You remind so much of somebody I used to know..." She looks off, remembering, smiling at this thought.

I pull myself into a sitting position. "Oh, yeah. You never did tell me your story."

She rolls her eyes. "I don't know why you're so interested in hearing it! It's so very boring and we're not talking about me."

"I don't want to talk about me anymore. We've heard enough about me." I say looking up at the stars. It's so weird being here, around Micheal's house again. I haven't been over here since the day his family moved away. Ohh.

"Well, I don't want to talk about me either." She frowns and picks at her fingernails.

"But look at everything we've discussed about me! Come on Senorita Montez, it's only fair."

Our eyes meet. She's breathtaking.

"Oh my god, Sharpay there you are! Mom's gonna be home in a half an hour!"

Oh right. Fuck.

--

I'm in a panic. Nobody was home to wake me up this morning, and I look a mess. I frantically rub my toothbrush over my teeth. I'm so late for school, really late. I grab my sunglasses and purse, rushing in madly around my room to find my car keys. Shit - oh here they are! I sprint out to my pink beauty.

It's pretty chilly today. Once we get near Thanksgiving the tempertures start to decrease until mid-Februrary. I start up the car. I pull out into the street, my tires screeching the pavement as I speed my way to East High.

"You're laaaayyyyte!" Ryan teases. "You missed Math...again."

I roll my eyes. "Whatever, I hate Mr. Leibee."

The late bell rings for second period. Ryan plunks a kiss on my cheek and runs off. I wipe his slime from my face and make my way to Mrs.Eike's History class. Yikes.

--

I'm sitting in Chemistry now. I lazily tap my pencil against my desk while Mr. Loeman lecutres us about formulas and Periodic tables and crap I don't understand. Isn't it weird telling someone new - your secrets? Opening up to them is so ... crazy, especially for me. I don't open up to anybody and maybe that's why I'm such a mess.

I never showed any real emotions after Micheal's death ... not even when Blaire dumped me. I just got drunk as hell and forgot about it. Well not necessarily. And just because I open up doesn't mean I don't have feelings I just come off that way because I hate feeling vulnerable or exploited and I just don't want to be judged and - am I springing this all on you?

Sorry for that. I have my moments, excuse me.

I hear giggle and a chill creeps up my back. I turn my attention to the corner, where Troy and Gabriella sit. I forgot all about Troy, the airhead basketball captain. I shouldn't have because he's over there flirting with my girl.

Wait ... ? She's not even my girl ...

What is happening to me?

He whispers something into her ear, her face is blushing furiously. Something inside me stirs and it's not anything I've really ever even felt before but I know what it is. I'm jealous, and not just any type of jealous. I have flashes in my mind of stabbing Troy Bolton, killing him, erasing him from earth and time forever.

She talks back to him now. His eyes are smiling greedily, their so close in proximity it almost makes me sick. I've never had that type of closeness with her before. Well, Gabriella isn't gay.

Or maybe ... ?

No she definetely isn't.

She could be ...

Oh, damn it!

Just shut up, shut up, shut up!

--

We're standing outside. The cold night air feels good against my sweat skin. I breathe in, taking in the intoxicating moment, the kind we live for. Well, maybe this isn't one of them but .. it feels really good right now.

"Sharpay?"

"Yes."

I can feel her honey brown eyes on me. She's cold but I don't know how; we've been dancing non-stop for hours.

"I...me and you are - fr-friends right?" She asks.

I frown. I don't want to be friends. I want to be more-than friends .. I want to kiss you and hold you and read you and be with you. I hate when things get so complicated.

"Sure, friends."

"If I tell you something, you promise you won't say anything to anyone else?"

A secret? She wants to confide in me ... just the way I want to confide in her, tell her everything. Oh maybe this is it! Maybe she'll confess she's gay too. Even though I wouldn't wish such a fate on anyone else, I still...I want her and I'm not afraid to say it.

"Okay," I promise, biting my lips and crossing my fingers behind my back, "Shoot."

Gabriella sighs deeply. She leans against the brick wall, and God she looks so sexy when she does it. "Troy...Troy Bolton and I are sort of a c-couple."

Say what?!

**A Word From The Author:** Rushed , well yeah. I'm really trying not make everything so fast-paced and spring it all onto your guys' shoulders at once. But for the next upcoming chapters if you guys would like for me to continue, I have plenty of fluff, Troyella (blahh!), Gabpay and I'll slow things down till the climax of the story.

Reviews are welcomed! They mean everything to me, and thank you to all of you who do indeed review!

xoAllison


	11. So Now You're Falling In Love

When I was little, after a bad day at school, I used to go to the store and buy chocolate. I'd walk over to the playground across the street sit on the swings and eat. I'd like to listen to all the sounds of the world. Birds. Bees. My sneakers on the mulch.

So today, I'm walking across the wet street after school, it's drizzling. I have a Hershey bar in my hand. I'm not crying but my heart is.

How could this have happened? Why did this happen? I don't know why I got my hopes up so high. I should've known better. I should've known I would've been crushed like always. Maybe I'm just not meant for romance.

I take a seat on the swings, the water from the rain soaking the back of my True Religion jeans. I don't care, I have a million pairs and right now designer jeans are not what's on my mind.

And maybe that's the problem. I should go back to just thinking about designer jeans instead of love because love hasn't ever brought me anywhere but down, in the end anyway.

My fingertips unwrap the chocolate, and I break off a piece and slide it into my mouth. I haven't had chocolate in so long and it feels so warm and tasty on my tongue. I exhale. I need to relax.

I don't want to forget about Gabriella. I want her in my life ... somehow maybe even need her in my life. Wait, what am I saying? I don't need anyone. I never have. I've always only had myself to hold me up and it's not going to change over some stupid _girl_.

Except, Gabriella isn't just some stupid girl. She's much more than that. My problem exactly.

--

Troy thinks he's really something. With that perfect, cocky smile sitting across his lips, and his California tan and bright blue eyes. Ugh, he disgusts me.

I don't know how anybody actually falls for him. He's not even cute. I mean if you look at him, he's attractive of course. But he's the biggest asshole you'd ever meet. I wonder if any girls actually care about personality these days.

Obviously not Gabriella. She's in love with him. Everytime I see them walking together, hand in hand, she's so bright and happy. Smiling and blushing and giggling and laughing and squealing and hair blowing, teeth showing. Everything that's supposed to happen between a girl and a boy.

It's gutwrenching.

I'm watching them - I know it sounds stalkerish but it's not like I'm watching them from outside their bedroom or anything. Just at our lunch table on the balcony.

They're sitting next to eachother, so close. His arm is around her shoulder and her head is leaning against his chest. He's talking and she's laughing - like always. Is everything he says funny?

I can feel Ryan's smirk and eyes looking at me, amused. I ignore it and stare at them being happy and giddy.

How could I ever have even thought of Gabriella liking me? She's not even gay.

--

I'm sitting in last period, Spanish. I haven't seen Gabriella today. I don't know why Gabriella takes Spanish when she can already speak it fluently; I'm guessing for another easy A on her report card.

Senorita Hughes is at the front of the class, reviewing "to go" and "ar" verbs. Stuff I learned in the seventh grade so I don't pay attention. I gaze at the clock. I wonder if I could ever get past it. My lust for Gabriella Montez

It's not like I can pretend that I don't like her. I can't ignore the crazy feelings she makes me feel. I want to die. Ever feel like that?

I cross my legs and begin to pick at my nailbeds. Oh, they're awful. A piece of paper suddenly lands beside my shoe.

_Sharpay - Wanna party? Text me. -Cindy_

_--_

"It's green."

"Your point?"

"I hate green, Monica."

Monica places her hands on her hips and glares. Cindy glares just as hard back, arms crossed tightly over her chest and glossy red lips poked out.

"I'm not wearing it," Cindy states quietly.

Monica huffs. Cindy wins as always. "Fine. _I'll_ wear it. Happy now, bitch?"

Cindy smirks and turns into the mirror, looking at herself. Monica looks at the ugly puke green skirt with a pissed off frown.

We're getting ready for Josh Keesle's Birthday Bash. Josh Keesle is some stupid band geek with alot of money. His parents are endorsers for Vitamin Water and travel from Alberquerque to LA every other week. Josh is usually home alone except for his maid and his flute so he basically does whatever he wants.

Monica steps out from the bathroom, smiling and shrugging. It's the ugliest skirt I've ever seen.

"It doesn't look that bad," She says, twirling around. It looks horrible. It's green and comes just above her knee. It's plain and boring and hideous.

I let out a loud laugh and keep filing my nails. Cindy keeps applying lipgloss and rolls her eyes.

"It looks bad?"

I bite my bottom lip to keep myself from laughing. "All I can say is, I'm glad I'm not the one wearing it to a party."

Monica's face breaks. "Aw, Momma! Do I have to wear it!" She whines stomping out of the room to find her mother.

Oh, what a pansy ass.

"Can you believe she's actually going to wear that _thing,_" Cindy laughs. She closes the top to her lipgloss.

"I know. It's hideous," I whisper rolling my eyes.

Cindy throws the lipgloss into her purse and begins playing with her hair. "I mean her parents are so -" She flips open her cellphone. "Hello?"

I ignore her as she goes into her "Oh my god, no way!" fit and stare out the window. All that's on my mind is Gabriella.

I'm not angry. I shouldn't be anyway. It's not like she belonged to me. She wasn't mine and I wasn't hers because goddammit she's not even fucking gay! She's falling in love with some stupid jerk who doesn't even deserve her. It's not fair to me it's just not!

But of course life isn't fair, is it?

"Oh my god, you'll never guess who's together!" Cindy exclaims shutting her cellphone.

Here it comes. That endless reminder.

"Gabriella Montez and Troy Bolton!"

--

The party pretty much sucks. The music is blaring some lame remix and the people here are the same old shitty assholes I hate. And not only that, bad news, I heard Gabriella and Troy were here.

I lost Cindy and Monica the second we got here. Whatever.

"Hey..." I turn around to the hot breath rasping in my ear. It's Ryan. He's smirking, his blonde hair styled and gelled. He must have come here with Alex.

I give him a lazy smile. "What's up? Where's lover boy?"

"In the bathroom. Why aren't you dancing?"

I shrug, looking out onto the dance floor. I occassionally scan the crowd for Troy and Gabriella. Ugh, I really don't want to see them tonight. But I do. Oh it's so confusing!

He steps a little closer to me. "You know Gabi's here."

Always reminding me of the bad, right Ry? You can always rely on Ryan to get you down when you're half drunk.

"Yeah. I heard," I say, pretending I don't care. Of course it doesn't work.

He grins. He knows he's gotten to me. "Let's dance."

I look at him. He extends his hand out to me and I can't help but smile. "Let's shake it," I say before taking his hand and allowing him to lead me onto the floor. Ryan is a great dancer.

We bump against each other, bopping our heads and swaying hips, shouting along to the songs we know. Sixteen songs later, I'm tired and beat as we step back into the kitchen. I'm sweating and fanning my face.

"Having fun?" He asks, smiling.

I laugh. "Just get me some water John Travolta."

He rolls his eyes and pops open the fridge. The kitchen isn't very crowded. There is a boy and girl laughing and giggling by the sink and that's about it. Everyone is mainly dancing and having sex upstairs, probably. I can't help but to think about what Gabriella is doing with Troy right now.

She's not that kind of girl, I know she's not. But I thought that Blaire wasn't that kind of girl and quite frankly I thought she was gay until I found her and Troy all over each other at a party. I sigh and grab the cold bottle of water as Ryan hands it to me.

"I can't believe you!"

"Stop _yelling_ at me, Troy!"

Guess who the cat dragged in?

**A Word From The Author: **Wow! I'm trying not to make it to suspenseful or leave much of a cliff hanger for you guys. More to be continued in Chapter 12 if you guys like it. I hope you guys like it, I spent hours working on this and I really hope yall enjoy! Please leave me your thoughts bad or good. I love hearing from you all!

xoAllison


	12. After Tonight

_Chapter 12. _

"I'm not even -" Troy lowers his voice, "I'm not even yelling it's just, I really like you and I hate to see you with another person."

Ugh, he's trying his card at playing innocent and loving. Please. He's a conceited cheating asshole.

Gabriella sighs. "I wasn't with another person. I like you and only you, Troy."

They smile and lean into each other, arms wrapped, bodies close. Latched together. I can't stand this. I can't watch this happen, I can't watch Gabriella, the most beautiful girl (possibly in the world) fall for a stupid stupid idiot jerk that doesn't even like her for her. I deserve Gabriella. Me. Not Troy. Me, I deserve her.

Ryan wraps a comforting arm around me. What is up with him acting so loving lately? I don't have the strength to push him away. They look so happy...Why can't I ever be that way?

--

It's sunny. The sky is blue. My hair is blowing as I cruise down the street. My hands are clutching the steering wheel, my knuckles white.

"Thanks for the ride, Sharpay."

I don't say anything to her. I just stare straight ahead, expecting her to get out.

"Hey.." She says softly.

I turn my head. "Yeah?"

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and sighs. "Are you...did I do something?"

What? Oh, god. "Oh, no, oh no no no! You've done nothing it's just - I've got a lot on my mind."

She raises her right eyebrow skeptically (I wish I could do that!) with her eyes stern and hard. I just smile assuringly at her. She sighs, giving up.

"Okay, whatever." She unbuckles and reaches for the door handle.

"Wait," I don't know what I'm doing. "Would - uhm, would you like a burger? I know a place where they make the best?"

It's now that I realize my hands hurt.

--

We're sitting in Dina's Diner. It's way out in the West end of Alberquerque. Most people wouldn't expect me to know of such a place. Micheal used to bring me here all the time. The best burgers in New Mexico are made here, I'm sure.

Gabriella's going mad with the crayons. She's drawing on the back of her menu. I want to see but her arms are covering so I cannot.

"Here you are darlin'," A waitress with frizzy red hair sets our burger in front of us. She hands us straws for our sodas. "Anything else I can get ya?"

I smile at her kindly. "Uhm, not right now, thanks." She nods and tells me to holler if we need anything. I thank her and she walks away.

"Should I cut it or should you?" I ask, picking up my knife. She looks up from her paper.

"Well, I wouldn't trust myself with a knife so go ahead!" She laughs and I cut the burger into two equal halves.

We both take a bite of ours. "Oh my god! It's delicious!" Gabriella exclaims, mouth full.

I smile. "Told you."

She takes another bite. "That you did Miss Evans."

She looks down at her paper and smirks at it. Adding her finishing touches, she slides it across the table for me to see. She takes a sip of her soda.

It's a picture of a girl. Her red lips are smiling and her big brown eyes are definetely emphasized. Blonde curls fall around her heart shaped face and I grin from ear to ear. It's me.

"You drew me?" I ask, trying to not laugh histerically. Her cheeks flush and she nods. I look at the drawing again. The last person that ever drew me was Micheal. My heart sinks and I'm yet again a prisoner to the memories.

_"For you," He says smirking. He slides a piece of paper across the table. I giggle. What kind of game is this boy playing?_

_On the paper is a portrait of a blonde girl with cherry lips. There are pink hearts all around her face, and I realize that he drew me. _

_My insides turn to mushy goo. "Can I keep this?" I ask. _

_He nods and smiles charmingly. My heart flutters. "Of course, but for a small fee." He leans across the table and kisses my mouth. He tastes like fruit in the summer. _

"Can I keep this?" I ask.

She nods. "Of course."

--

I guess I should be grateful to have her in my life at least. I mean, only a month or so ago, I didn't need anyone. But now I don't know what I'd do if she'd leave. Is that what falling in love is like?

**A Word From The Author:** Hey! So, it's always something with me right? Well, I was feeling a little depressed lately but I'm back up on my feet and ready to commit to this story. I'm always a little self concious about my writings and it's really awesome to know that you guys like them. Thanks so much!

Leave your thoughts.

xoAllison


	13. Don't Leave, Just Stay With Me

**A Word From The Author: **I hope this story makes sense to you guys. If it doesn't PM me and I'd be happy to clarify any questions. I really love you all, I truly do. Thanks so much for you're reviews and advice. Keep it coming.

Allison(:

--

"Soooo? How was last night?" Ryan asks. I'm leaning against the kitchen counter arms crossed over my stomach with a goofy smile spread across my face. He should be able to tell.

"What are talking about?" I laugh, turning around to pour myself a glass of water - straight from the tap.

"I'm talking about how you were supposedly dropping Gabriella off at home but yet, you didn't walk through that door until nine." His eyebrows are raised, and he's smirking at me. Oooo! I just can't contain it!

I sip my water, setting the glass down. "Well, if you _must_ know, we got hungry and split a burger at Dina's."

"Dina's? You mean the place Micheal used to take you, right?"

I sigh, pretending to be annoyed and flustered with his questions. But really, I want to bust out in song and dance and tell him everything that happened. From the drawing, to the frizzy waitress, and the amazing burger! But I play it cool for now.

"Yes, Ryan." My throat seems dry. Hmm. I take another swig of tap water.

He stares at me, baffled for a while. Just studying me. His blue eyes (From Mom) are just scanning me, everything, up and down. And then when he's through possibly processing what I've just told him, he walks toward the kitchen door but stops and turns to me.

"Since when do you drink tap water?"

--

Mrs. Helms is standing in front of the room, in her farmer jeans and pink t-shirt with cheap nike sneakers. Her sunflower colored hair is tied into a neat ponytail and she has waayyy to much lipgloss on. But at least she's skinny.

But on the other hand, her voice annoys me. It drones in this monotnous boring endless tone, that just drags on and on and on for about what seems like forever.

I glance at the clock, only two minutes until the bell rings. I sigh and dab my fingertips lazily across my desk. I keep thinking about Gabriella. I'm trying not to but it's a little distracting when she's sitting right there in a bright pink tanktop and tight denim capris, with her curly black hair falling all over her naked shoulders.

She looks so...classic. Such a beauty. She doesn't even have to do herself up, no makeup, no heels and miniskirts, or hairspray. She's just Gabriella, simple and still more beautiful than I could or possibly anyone could ever be.

Suddenly, the bell rings and I break my gaze from Gabi, and begin to gather my things. Ahh, off to the wonderful world of AP Chemistry!

"Hold it!" Mrs. Helms blocks the door. "Do not forget about the test on Hemmingway tomorrow." Everyone groans and sighs. Mrs. Helms walks back over to her desk as we all race out of the door.

Out in the hallway, I find Gabriella and Troy walking together, hand in hand. Gross, but I still can't take my eyes off of them. They're both smiling and they stop suddenly. I slow my pace so I can watch what they're doing. He says something to her, and bends down and kisses her lips.

Something weird is happening, and I feel like I did that night.

_"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be out with ... YouKnowWho," Ryan asks, obviously talking about Blaire. My girlfriend for almost a year. I sigh and check my cellphone. No new messages._

_"Because she said her parents were making her go to this Brian Adams concert and she'd pick me up tomorrow," I tell him. He rolls his eyes. Blaire's always cancelling on me but it's not like it's her fault. I notice the beer in his hand. "Ryan, stop drinking that shit." _

_He looks down at the beer and then up at me. "It's only my first one. And it's not shit. Why don't you come dancing with me, Miss Priss?" _

_He sets down the alcohol, taking my hand and sweeping me out onto the crowded dance floor. People are bumping to the music all around, I love it. I grip Ryan's hands a little tighter and we move a little faster, everyone bobbing and moving in perfect sync. _

_I glance over to the DJ Booth and notice Troy and a pretty blonde. Ugh, looks like he's with yet another slutty fan. I watch him. Troy's arms are around her waist, bodies smashing together, faces connected. I don't know who she is, her hair is covering her face as she sucks Troy's lips off. He smiles and leans her back agaisnt the wall, brushing some hair out of her face he whispers in her ear._

_Wait ... is that? It can't be. But it is. The bright blue eyes, the freckles and shiny teeth. The belly button ring. It's Blaire. My Blaire._

--

The paper is soft and sharp underneath the skin of my fingers. I grip my pen and scribble something in bright pink ink. I make sure the teacher isn't looking, then slowly and precisely fold the paper into a perfect mini square.

Double checking to make sure Mr. Petrosika isn't paying attention to me, I throw the note in her direction. It lands perfectly on her desk. For one, I have great aim. She looks over at me and I smile. I watch as her small fingers unfold the note.

Her eyes dart back and forth as they read the words written on the paper. I watch her the whole time. She scribbles something down and then tosses it back to me. I bend over and pick it up. Unfolding it, I read her pretty cursive writing.

_I'll be there. -Gabriella_

Score! I fold it up and slip it inside my purse.

--

The paper is soft and sharp underneath the skin of my fingers. I grip my pen and scribble something in bright pink ink. I make sure the teacher isn't looking, then slowly and precisely fold the paper into a perfect mini square.

Double checking to make sure Mr. Petrosika isn't paying attention to me, I throw the note in her direction. It lands perfectly on her desk. For one, I have great aim. She looks over at me and I smile. I watch as her small fingers unfold the note.

Her eyes dart back and forth as they read the words written on the paper. I watch her the whole time. She scribbles something down and then tosses it back to me. I bend over and pick it up. Unfolding it, I read her pretty cursive writing.

_I'll be there. -Gabriella_

Score! I fold it up and slip it inside my purse.

--

We're spread out in Alex's living room, studying for Mrs. Helms stupid test and end of semester exams. Our notes are scattered among us and our books open to random pages. His parents are making out in the kitchen. It's kind of gross but at least they love eachother. (Unlike some parents I know...mine.)

Ryan and Alex are sitting so close it's almost sickening. Well, I guess I'm being mean. They're great for each other, really. Alex is laidback and calm and loving. He doesn't even look like he's gay, unlike Ryan who dresses in designer pinks everyday. They're opposites in a really awesome way. It's a good thing.

Ryan's never really been lucky in the boyfriend department. There was Simon, who Ryan lost it to. Simon and Ryan weren't good together. Simon was a user and Ryan was in Simon's business way too much. They always fought and finally broke it off a year later.

After Simon came along Jared who never payed much attention to Ryan. He wasn't affectionate at all. Ryan can be an asshole, I will admit. But I think he really deserves someone better for him, someone that's good to him and Alex is just that.

Alex whispers something in Ryan's ear, they laugh and I smile at them. It's how it should always be. Always happy.

The door bell rings and my heart jumps. Alex's younger sister who's in the ninth grade, jumps up and runs to the door.

I hear the door swing open, a familiar soft voice, the door being closed and small feet padding into the living room.

A strange pang of excitement and anxiety is in my stomach, my chest is tight. I'm nervous, I don't know why. I neatly organize my notes and papers. And like an angel she floats in, hair bouncing freely in a long dark ribbon behind her.

I clear my throat and stand. "I hope you guys don't mind but I invited Gabriella to come study with us." Ryan smirks and shoots me a devious look. I ignore him.

"Oh, well the more the merrier!" Alex smiles as she walks into the room.

Gabriella waves and gives a shy smile. "Hello everybody." They all greet her unenthusiastically as she takes a seat very close to me on the loveseat.

"So, you made it," I say. Our eyes meet and I can't help myself but to blush. She chuckles and nods opening up her backpack.

She slides out a couple of pieces of paper. She hands one to me. "I got a list of poets and writers that are supposed to be on the test, just so we can analyze their works and get them into our head."

A list? What a nerd. I bit back my laughter, and tuck the sheet of paper into my book. I'm not actually going to study. I just knew Alex's sister and a couple of kids from school were having a get-together and used that as an excuse to spend time with Gabriella. I know, it's a little crazy, but hey, who are you talking too? Ms. Sharpay Evans of course.

She looks at me and notices my goofy smirk. She crosses her eyebrows. "Are you okay? I mean, is everything alright up here?" She points to her head and grins.

I shake my head yes. She raises her eyebrows and nods skeptically, "Right." She looks away and turns her attention back into her notes. Everyone is in their own world, quizzing each other, kissing or talking. I wish I could do the kissing part with Gabi but that'll happen sooner or later. (Fingers crossed.)

I tap my fingernails and check the time. It's a little after six. I wonder what took her so long to get here. I yawn and lean back in my seat. "So, wanna quiz me on vocabulary?"

"How about Spanish? You're last two quizzes haven't been so well," She says, eyes scanning the paper and not me.

Wait, how does she know what my last two quizzes looked like? I shift uncomfortably. "How do you know what my last two quizzes were like?"

She scribbles something down on her paper. "I help grade after school on Wednesdays."

"Oh. Well, okay then. Let's go on Spanish vocabulary."

She closes her books, takes out another study guide, scans it quickly and then folds it into her lap. Turning to me, her beautiful eyes meet mine again. I sigh and nod my head. "Okay, ready."

Her brown, bright eyes are staring straight into mine. I wonder how Troy couldn't be with her this moment. If I had the chance to have some like Gabriella as my girlfriend, then I'd be with her every second.

"What does cocina la cena mean?"

"Uhm..dinner..? I'm - I'm cooking..I'm cooking dinner?" I say. My teeth grasp my lower lip to keep me from smiling. I have no clue if I'm right.

I receive a laugh from her, "And I thought you didn't have a clue about school. You actually listen in Spanish?"

Oh, screw it. I smile. "Well, yes. And I do have somewhat of a clue about school. As a matter of fact, I do all of my homework and just happen to be in AP Chemistry. An extremely difficult class."

"That you might just happen to be failing, right?" She snorts.

I glare at her, but still smiling. "Was that supposed to be _funny _Ms. Always So Serious Montez?"

"Possibly..yes actually it was. You know I am quite the joker when I have my moments," She points out leaning back in her seat.

"Oh really?" I say. And our gazes lock, once again.

Her usually cold, stoned face expression is now soft and gentle. Her brown eyes now full of a new emotion I haven't seen in her before. It's rising, her cheeks are flushing and she's ... she's glowing with emotion and radiance. It's now that it's extremely hard to resist the urge to reach out and grab her and hold her close to me and read her. To look inside her and read her inner most personal thought and know what her beautiful brain is thinking.

"Sharpay! _Shar - pay_!" Ryan is shouting at me. "Have you not been hearing me call you for the last uhm, ten minutes! Have you gone deaf? "

Fuck, he's pissing me off. Why is he always marshing my fucking mellow. "Either that or I just don't feel like answering you."

Alex is used to my hostility I guess. It doesn't seem to phase him much anymore. "We're playing Fuzzy Duck. You in?"

What the hell is fuzzy duck? "I have no clue what you're talking about."

He sighs, impatiently. "You know the drinking game. We're playing with you're favorite!"

Ooh it sounds so tempting but ... no. Last time Gabriella saw me drink she was incredibly pissed off and plus I was on a roll. I'm really trying to quit my drinking thing.

"How about no? I'm not in the mood. And aren't we supposed to be studying?" I say, flipping my hair behind my shoulder.

"What do you mean you're not in the mood? You're never not in the mood."

I should slap him silly. "If I don't want to play, I don't want to play, okay?"

"Fine. Don't join us in a nice cold bottle of vodka. It's cool." Alex smirks at me, and begins to turn away. Crap.

I look over to say something to Gabriella but she's not there. I stand up quickly from my seat and I hear the door slam.

Fuck.

I guess this is where I chase after her. Did I say something? I grab my things, brush through the crowd of loser idiots my brother calls friends and out of the front door. I spot her sitting on the edge of the curb.

"Gabriella?" I call her. She looks up at me and then looks away. I sigh. I hope I haven't screwed this one up. "Hey." I sit down beside her, only to have her scoot away.

"Please, don't. If you want to go drinking and have fun then don't let me ruin it." Her voice is hard and cold. It stings like a slap in the face because a minute ago we were laughing and joking with each other and I was feeling butterflies.

"But I don't want to. Gabi I - I just want to stay here ... stay with you." Her eyes shoot up at mine and I can't ... I can't ... all I know is her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes so rich and sweet like chocolate cake. She smiles and her cheeks flush with color.

She looks down and then up at me again. "Thanks Sharpay, that - that means alot to me," She tells me with a deep sincerity and it's so cute. Oh .. I want to just grab her face and kiss it over and over and stay there in that moment, basking in her warm lips and good-smelling skin.

But I - I can't. "Yeah, but can I .. "I lick my lips and scoot closer to her, "can I ask you something?"

She shrugs and nods. "Alright."

"What's with you and alcohol? I mean you really seem to hate it," I say, cutting right down to the chase. Usually I have a tendency to beat around the bush when I'm asking serious questions.

Her face sinks. She crosses her eyebrows and she wears an expression of pure pain on her face, as if she was remembering. I almost feel like an asshole for even asking. I hate seeing her hurt like that if she is hurting. It sure looks like it.

Tears are brimming her eyes, suddenly, her hands clapsed together so tightly her knuckles white. She's shaking, remembering, hurting. Wow. I wonder what .. what made her like this?

"Gabriella?" I say, trying my hand at a sympathetic tone, "I'm here. Talk to me."

She whimpers and her mouth gaps open as if she can't find the strength to say it if she can without her whole heart shattering. Ha, deep I know but I kind of know how she feels right now.

Night has fallen and the streetlights are on. I can hear the 'study party' going on in Alex's house. The air is cold and I realize I'm freezing. I pull out my car keys and stand. "Come on," I say to her, "Let me get you home. We have alot to talk about."

She nods and I gently pull her up. I take this oppurtunity to hold her close. I wrap my arms around her waist, firmly and bury my face into her neck. She does not back away, she does not turn me down. Her tears fall onto my skin and she whispers to me.

"Sharpay?"

"Yes?"

"Don't leave me alone."

**A Word From The Author:** Wow! It's been waay to long. I've been away out of town for the past twelve days. I'm so sorry but I hope this chapter and the many more to come will make it up to you. If you like, reviews are more than welcomed.

xoAllison(:


	14. Oh, Baby!

We're sitting in the living room, on the couch. I'm rubbing her back as she sobs into my shoulder. Her sentences and words are muffled, I have no clue what is wrong. She didn't tell me on the way home. All she did was collapse into my arms as I lead her to safety on the sofa.

I'm not good at making others feel better. No one has ever made me feel better when I needed it the most. My feelings have always been neglected as if I wasn't even human. I don't know what you're supposed to do to calm someone down, to help a friend out. Because I've never been helped out before.

I'll try my best ... "Gabi?" I pull her up, gently. "Please tell me," I beg her. She shakes her head and scoots away, wiping her wet eyes with the backs of her hands.

"I - I c-can't. Not again, I can't do it again." She breaks into tears and buries her head in her hands.

I'll admit. I am a little flustered. I mean I poured my heart out to her, gave everything of mine away to her and she won't even give the slightest bit of hers away to me. I rub my forehead and sigh. "Give me something, let me inside, I want to know. You don't have to embarrassed or .. I don't judge friends."

She sniffs and sits up. "Why? Why do you want to know everything about me Sharpay? Why can't you just accept me for the way I am?"

"Because, I can't accept what I don't know. I need to know exactly what I am accepting here." I'm trying my best to stay calm and to not bust out on her. I don't want to do that, no, but I have a hot temper and get angry very easily as you probably have noticed.

"You don't need to know everything about me! Troy doesn't know everything about me but he still accepts me and so do all of his friends. I'm a stupid trashy slut, alright?" She yells.

"No! No, you are more than that! I _refuse_ to believe that!" I yell back. "I _want_ to know you! I want to be here for you!"

"Why! What have I ever done to deserve worthiness? I'm not worthy of knowing I'm a whore, Sharpay! Get it through your head I'm a whore! Whore, whore, whore, me! I left Texas to start a new life, a better one but you still want me to sit here and tell you all of the things and spill my heart out to you. Why do you act like you care so much?" She says. Her eyes are hurt, bleeding, the shield is gone. I can read and see all of her pain, all of her anger built up inside for so long.

I reach out and touch her shoulder. She sighs into my caress. "I'm not acting."

She looks at me, eyes glassy. "Yeah?"

I grin and nod my head. "Yeah and I want to help you. Please tell me."

She sighs and sniffles, sitting up straight. Her cheeks are red and wet. A few tears slide from her eyes and straight down her face. She blows her nose with a Kleenex on the coffee table. I don't like seeing her like this. It kind of .. it hurts.

"I - I ... I was - drunk with a bunch of friends. We were playing Seven Minutes and Heaven and I got stuck with ... K-Kale. I had iked him ever since we were kids, growing up in the neighborhood. I thought I was the lucky. Drunk and stuck in the closet with a cute boy and .. he - he .. raped me."

Oh. My. God.

She lets out a lone whimper and then claps her palm over her open mouth. She clutches the ends of her dress with her other hand, squeezing her eyes shut as she silently sobs into her hand.

I do the only thing I can think of. I pull her close, trying my best to soothe her quaking body. Her hair is knotty and matted against her forehead. I can feel her warm lips against my skin as she lets out a loud sob and then inhales and backs away from me.

"I knew I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have drank anything. I should've said no, just no! But I couldn't and I chugged it and I chugged it and I...I liked it." She pauses and looks at her nails. "We were in the closet and kissing. I hardly knew what was going on but he pulled down my pants and I said 'no'. I remember saying no, no Kale no. I didn't want to but he pushed me down and said it was okay and ..."

She shakes her head, turns back to me as more tears pour from her eyes. "I'm - I'm horrible Sharpay."

"No. No you're not. This was never your fault. You said no, and he - Kale is wrong." I say, my voice suprisingly calm and steady.

"But I went into the closet. And I thought I liked him .. he was cute and nice and funny and smart. And I'd been crushing since the age of five and I was so .. excited. And then, he raped me." Her voice cracks and she whispers the last part.

She bites her lip and plays with her cuticles.

I cringe at the word.

I close my eyes. I never would have guessed. Never. This is .. alot to take in for one night. If I wouldn't have pushed I wouldn't have known. Known this awful, awful thing happened to this girl, this beautiful tragic angel sitting beside me.

I open them and look at Gabriella. I want to kiss it away. Kiss away all of her pain and tears, and if I could kill the bastard that made her like this, took away everything she ever had.

I can't imagine Gabriella getting drunk. Was she a completely different person before she moved here? I wonder what she looked like, how she carried herself, what she talked about what she liked. And if what I see is the real Gabriella Montez.

"Do your friends know?"

She shakes her head. "No. I couldn't. It hurt to much, to much to bear. It was so hard to say, so hard to breathe so hard to even just live. They all just thought I was some big slut that got drunk and had sex after Kale told everyone how .. 'tight' I was. They all dropped me from their lives and made mine miserable." She whimpers and takes in a sharp breath. "I'm terrible for letting this happen."

"You did nothing wrong. _This _is not your fault. I don't understand why you're still blaming yourself when you had no control over the situation."

I pull her hands into mine trying to comfort her but instead she yanks them away and turns her back to me. She shakes her head and lets out a bitter laugh.

"You really don't get it."

"Well I'm trying to!" I shout. She flinches. I wipe my hands over my mouth and sigh. "Explain it to me then, please. I want to understand what's going on in your head."

"...I have - Sharpay ... I have .." She chokes and I run to the kitchen and get her a glass of water. I set it in front of her on the coffee table but she doesn't touch it.

"What do you have?" I ask my face hard stone.

She licks her lips and swallows, turning to me. "A baby."

A baby? She has a baby? I honestly didn't see that one coming. Oh, god. I sink into my seat, close my eyes. This is too much all just too much for one night. A baby? Oh my god, oh my god.

"You kept it?" I manage to ask.

"Yes. I kept it. Her name is Andrea, and she looks just like him."

It's so hard to believe. Gabriella ; drunk ; Gabriella ; pregnant. How could this have happened to my beautiful, sweet Gabriella? It must have been scary to have someone touch you in a way you don't want to be touched. Dark and scary.

I shiver.

"Sharpay?" She whispers. Her voice is shaky, her body is trembling.

I look at her. She's a wreck, a nervous freaking wreck. "Yes."

She looks up at me, her eyes wide and scared. I die inside.

"I'm scared."

Again, she breaks into tears and I'm pulling her into my chest. Rubbing her back, and touching her hair, desperately trying to calm her trembling body and put her at rest.

--

I have never been so scared. I want to make it all better. I want to make her all better, I want to be with her and love her till there is no end. I'm not sure if I know how, I have no clue what I'm doing.

**A Word From The Author: **Thanks for your reviews guys, you all brighten my day and put a happy happy smile on my face. (: I'm not sure if I ended this chapter the way I wanted too . I feel it's a bit rushed but I just typed from the soul and this is what I ended up with. There's alot more to come for this story so if you lovely people enjoyed then reviews would be very much appreciated.

xoAllison(:


	15. Do You Believe In Magic?

"Sharpay, _Sharpay_ get up!" I open my eyes to find Ryan hitting me on the shoulder.

"What the fuck, Ryan!" I snap as I rub my eyes. He's muttering angrily and shaking his head as he tucks his shirt in the mirror.

He turns around to me. "What do you mean what the fuck! We're late for school and all because of - of _this_!" He shouts pointing at me and Gabriella. My arm is around her waist as are hers around mine. Her face is buried in my shoulder.

"Because of what, Ryan? It's not like I've never had to rush you out of bed in the morning while Alex is drooling over your side! Shut up and give me a chance to get out of bed, I could be naked for all you know!" I huff and Gabriella awakens, lifting her head from my shoulder.

Ryan glares at me and bites his jaw. "You really are an inconsiderate bitch, Sharpay."

I roll my eyes and sit up in bed. "Fuck you."

"Fuck me? Fuck _me_? Well, fuck you! I'll find my own way to school from now on and don't ask me for a damn thing either because you're not going to get it!" He points his finger and with a sharp turn he storms out of room and slams the door.

Gabriella flinches and sits up next to me. "What's his deal?"

I sigh. "We're late for school but I really, really don't feel like going."

She gasps, and begins to frantically shift around in the sheets. "What!" She throws the sheets to the floor and checks her cellphone. "It's eight thirty, we're so _late_!" She shoves her cellphone into her pocket and heads for her shoes.

"Whoa, whoa settle down!" I say, grabbing her arm and stopping her. She looks at me and I feel her body relax. "How about we just .. stay home for the day. Go out for breakfast, see a movie, get your mind off things."

She looks at me grins slowly but then it fades and she pulls away and shakes her head. "No, no I can't. My mom will kill me if I don't and besides don't we have our last rehearsal tonight before the show?"

Such a party pooper.

--

"I'm not sure about this Sharpay." Gabriella says biting her lower lip. We're sitting in my car, in the middle of my driveway.

"Why? It'll be fun, great. Look I'm here, me, Miss Sharpay Evans taking you Miss Gabriella Montez out for a .. joy ride!" I say nudging her shoulder and earning a ghostly hint of a grin from Gabriella.

"Listen," I whisper in her ear. "I want to get away from things for a little while .. just for a day and we'll be at rehearsal by six. I know - it's hard and frustruating but I promise we'll have fun."

She clenches the inside of her cheek and I can tell she's thinking about my offer. She fiddles with her seatbelt and then looks up at me. "Promise we'll be at rehearsal in time?"

I giggle. "Promise."

--

How I love the sweet smell of steaming chocolate chip pancakes. I inhale and smile, the aroma pleasing all my senses. My fingers find the syrup and I pour them over a mountain of giant chocolate pancakes.

I haven't had pancakes since I was seven. No, this figure can't take that. I know, I'll gain about ten pounds from eating this but when I'm with Gabriella, all life's troubles dissapear and it's just me and her.

I'm just Sharpay. She's just Gabriella. Nothing else matters but us.

She laughs as I dig into my pancakes, the warm sweet flour sliding easily down my throat. I don't know why she's laughing but I really don't care. I'm basking in the new sensation of fatty pancakes.

"Enjoying those pancakes I see," she chuckles as she sips on her orange juice. I nod unable to speak from the pleasure.

After we're finished eating, I let my fork clatter to the syrupy plate, wipe my mouth and lean back into my seat. I downed three giant pancakes in twenty minutes, I'm pretty much stuffed.

"So," I say while Gabriella finishes the last of her hash browns and orange juice, "What do you want to do? We still have .. " I look at my watch, "Nine whole hours all to ourselves."

She shrugs and finishes chewing. "It doesn't matter."

"Well, the choice is all yours," I tell her.

She grins. "Thanks Sharpay. Who knew you could be such a great friend."

What's that supposed to mean? Did she think I was going to be a bad friend? Did she think I was mean or catty like most people do? I ponder her statement as the waitress lays the black book with our check in front of me.

"What's that supposed mean?" I finally ask, as we buckle up in the car.

"What's what supposed to mean?" She asks pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

I turn the key in the ignition and begin to pull out of the diner parking lot. "I mean when you said, 'who knew you could be such a great friend'. Did you think I was going to be a bad friend or something?"

"Well, no it's just .. " She stops and picks at her nails.

"It's just what?"

She sighs and it sounds like she's rather annoyed with me. "I've heard alot of things about you, Sharpay. And when we started hanging out I wasn't sure if you were going to take advantage of me and exploit me to the whole school," I feel her small fingers around my forearm and I'm confused by the gesture. "But I know now that you're a great friend. At least to me."

I smile.

--

She's so magical. I mean, that's kind of weird .. magical .. it's a funny way to describe a person. But it's like, whenever I'm with her I feel like I'm supposed to be. Our conversation isn't forced or awkward. It's just there .. it sort of just happens.

She makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world. I can't see anyone else, I can't imagine anyone else. But Gabriella. She is mine and I will have her. No matter what it takes.

**A Word From The Author: **I don't like this one. I don't know it's just something about it bothers me but oh well. I can't figure out just what to fix to make it good to me. Anyway, it's kind of short but I hope you all enjoy.

I have to thank all you wonderful reviewers! You guys truly, truly make my day. It's such an awesome feeling. I really love you guys for sticking with me on this one and trust me .. we've got a loong way to go. I've got alot planned for this story.

Reviews are very appreciated, loved and of course welcomed.

xoAllison(:


	16. She Wants My Lovey Dovey Kiss! Kiss!

**A Word From The Author:** I hope none of you absolutely hate me for being away for almost two months! I know, there is no excuse and I don't blame you if you have simply given up on me. But I have risen from the dead and am back, here at your service.

Leave your thoughts.(:

xoAllison

--

Tonight is the last rehearsal before the show. You can almost cut the tension, we're all so nervous and excited. Sweat is dripping from our faces to the floor. I have to make this perfect. Absolutely perfect.

"Again!" I shout, and we play back, swinging our hips, singing, groaning in frustruation as a dancer loses their step and messes up the whole routine.

See, this show is _so _important to me. My dad has gotten tons of scouts and agents to come watch us perform (Not that anyone else knows but Ryan and myself.) and a dancer cannot just lose their step or even stumble. It'll mess up everyone else and make us look unprofessional and I cannot have that.

I can't let anyone ruin it. This is mine, I've worked so hard for this and I deserve it, I need it and I will kill to have it.

I throw myself into the music and give it my all. I'm alive.

--

"But it's shit brown, Alex."

"And?"

"I'm not going looking a fucking turd!"

Alex huffs and squeezes the bridge of his nose as Ryan grumbles loudly and flops back onto the bed. After a moment, Ryan sits back up and looks into Alex's eyes. "Look, I'm - I'm sorry. I'll .. I'll wear it if you want me too."

Alex stands up straight and kisses Ryan on the cheek. Ryan frowns as Alex adjusts the decaying brown hat ontop of his head.

They're getting ready for Alex's parents annual "People Psychology" speech. A long, boring hour of important people and politicians giving their opinions about current issues and so forth. His parents are world renoun psychologists and traveled all over Europe last summer to promote their new book. Of course, I didn't know Alex then but he's told us all about it (boring!).

Ryan turns into the mirror and frowns as Alex gushes over how cute he looks in it.

I laugh at loud at them.

"Shut up Sharpay," Alex says giving me an angry glare, "I think it looks adorable on him. Am I forgetting something? Oh, right! Our passes, downstairs! Be right back!" He dashes off down the hall.

Ryan turns and makes a face at his reflection. I sigh and flip through my magazine. "Ready for the fundraiser?" I ask, leaning back into my seat.

He sighs. "I can't believe I'm actually going to wear this _thing_!"

I laugh. "Hey, it makes him happy. Plus, he's wearing a brown tux so you'll match and the event's outside right?"

"Yeah it is. I mean I guess it doesn't look that bad," He says turning again in the mirror. I snort and sip my water.

"You're so whipped!"

He grins at me. "Well at least I'm happy. Speaking of happy, how's Gabriella?"

"She's ... well..." It's hard not to tell Ryan everything. For so long, he is the only person that knows everything about me. He's my twin brother, we've stuck together through thick and thin and believe it or not, he's the only one I can trust. I struggle trying to put the cap back on my water bottle.

Gabriella doesn't want me to say anything, and I understand that. But like the always say, I can't keep a secret for more than an hour. And it's been a whole twenty - four. I've beaten my record.

"You promise not to tell anyone?"

He turns to me and frowns a little bit. "I can't promise that .. I mean, at least not to Alex. He's my _boyfriend, _you know how it is. Why? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, really, really bad. Gabriella's had a very tough past." I stare at my hands fumbling with the water bottle. "I want to tell you, Ry. I really do but if you can't keep it to yourself.."

Suddenly, Ryan is not my asshole brother, not Alex's whipped lover. He's my best friend, my twin, his arm around me promising to me. "I swear, Sharpay, you can tell me anything. I won't say a word."

I look deep into his eyes ; he is serious. I sigh and massage my temples. "Okay, well ..."

After I am done explaining the whole story, Ryan's face is pale as the wall. I take a breath and remove his arm from my shoulders.

"That's - Sharpay, she has a - a - b-baby?"

I nod slowly, digesting it all over again. Just thinking about it, how scared she must have been. His weight crushing her as he forced his slimey tongue down her throat ... it's too much to bear.

Alex reappears smiling and holding up the tickets. "All set!" He hands Ryan his and turns to me. "Oh, there's someone at the door for you, Sharpay."

"Who?"

He grins. "I think you'll be quite suprised."

I throw down the magazine and water. Is it Gabriella? Oh, god if it is! I look like crap. I shove Alex out of the way and look at myself in the mirror. My hair is frizzy and gross so I quickly tie them into messy braids. I quickly toss my dad's old hockey sweatshirt to the floor and straighten my tanktop. There's not much I can do about makeup at this moment, but I decide that it's good enough. Anyways, shouldn't she like me for me anyways?

I quickly dash down the hall and find her waiting by the foot of the steps. She beams when she sees me. She looks amazing, as usual. She doesn't even have to try, I mean in her oversized t-shirt and baggy jeans with little makeup and her hair undone she still looks gorgeous. I'll say I am a tad bit jealous of her beautiful features but she's so breathtaking I couldn't ever resent her.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I ask.

She blushes and ducks her head in embarrassment. "I'm sorry for not calling or anything, it was pretty rude but I just wanted to talk." I know it's stupid but that last part made me tingle inside. She gave up her Friday night, when she should be hanging out with her big-headed boyfriend because she wanted to hang out with me!

I can't help the true smile that curves over my lips. "No, it's perfectly fine. I'm always glad to see you."

She looks up and her face is light. "Really?"

I nod. "Really."

Just then Ryan and Alex come bounding down the stairs, dressed in expensive suits and smelling strongly of cologne.

"Okay, Shar. We're leaving, be back around .. eleven or so," Ryan tells me. "Oh! Gabriella, hey, hi, ho! What are you doing here?" He says, being rather annoyingly _obvious_. Ugh, stupid jerk.

"Hi Ryan. I came to see your sister." She gives him a polite smile.

He does a wild gesture with his head and oohhhs. "Well, we better get going. You kids behave!"

Alex takes his hand and the two head for the door, but before they do Ryan turns back. "Sorry about the other morning, Gabriella. I'm not usually that much of an asshole." He jokes, Alex huffs impatiently.

"Yeah what was that about?" She asks, placing a hand on her hip.

He winks. "I was so PMSing."

--

She places her purse down on my pink beanbag chair with a soft _spoosh _and jangling of car keys and we exchange a smile.

"I think Mr. Perestroika will be the end of me." She laughs, taking a seat on my bed. "That homework is _impossible_!"

I nod in agreement. "Oh, totally. But at least there is Mrs. Helms' class. I mean, that Emily Dickinson poem I really enjoyed."

"Oh yes!" She snaps her fingers. "_We Outgrow Love_ is my favorite one of hers. I have actually memorized a bunch of her poems, so I should ace that upcoming test." She smiles.

I love her, she's such a geek and I adore it. "Read it to me."

She sits up straight and clears her throat.

"_We outgrow love like other things  
And put it in the drawer,  
Till it an antique fashion shows  
Like costumes grandsires wore_."

Gabriella is simply perfect. She finishes with dreamy eyes. Everything about her is so amazing, so gracious and lovely. Like pure heaven. I picture Gabriella as a little girl, back home on her Texas farm running around the fields and playing with dolls, her brown eyes shining in the bright sunlight.

I run the back of my hand over my eyes, and lock gazes with Gabriella. She is not backing away, turning her face and giving me that uncomfortable unsettled smile. We know each other now, almost everything. Our friendship is built in a short month she has become the only one I really, really want.

And suddenly I am not afraid of that. I am ready to let her have me, see the real me who I really am. I want her to hold my heart and care to it with her small tender hands. I want to hold hers and I would never hurt her.

I want to close this space in between us. This big open gap of air and I want to connect my hips, my arms, my neck, my lips with hers. Gabriella is sitting comfortably on my bed, her hair is down and curly today.

As you can tell, I never think before I act and am very impulsive. When I want something, I go for it, I get it and I have it without thinking twice.

Thanks to this lovely quality, my impulsiveness is crying, crying for me to kiss her and to close this gaping space in between us. And so I do.

Slowly but surely my lips brush hers and I finally, finally feel her precious pink lips against mine. I push in a little harder, my hands slowly stroking her soft and silky hair. But she is not kissing me back. Her eyes are open and her back is stiff. I realize this is not right and I push myself off of her.

She looks at me, her eyes wide.

What the fuck was I thinking! I step back and press the back of my hand to my lips. I cannot breathe. She looks digusted, terrified. She climbs back into her shell that I thought I had cracked and opened.

I .. took advantage of her! I have ruined her, I have scared her, I have hurt her and I did not intend to! Oh, no fuck fuck fuck! I shouldn't have done that. I should have left her alone, waited until it was safe to make a move. Not after everything that has just happened.

"I'm so sorry, Gabi. That was - " I gulp, she blinks. "Totally innapropriate."

She is shocked.

"I'm so sorry, please Gabriella, I didn't - I didn't mean to .. to .." I think my brain will explode it is racing with so many thoughts at once. I can feel the burning and stinging of my cheeks, my throat is dry and my neck grows hot. I cannot believe I just did that to her!

"I...I should be going." She stands up and grabs her things. She does it so quickly I feel as if she is running away from me.

Fuck.

Where's my freaking vodka?


	17. Torn

--

I didn't realize how chilly it was today. The wind is blowing slightly, the sun is setting. I'm standing over the railing of my balcony. No one is home, like ususal.

Mom's out with _him_ probably out to some fancy restaurant and then to some cheesy motel so his wife won't find out. We all know where father is, and Ryan is still at the convention with Alex.

I have a bottle of beer in my hand, decided not to go too hardcore tonight. I don't know what is about alcohol but it's so ... exhilirating to me. I mean, in school we were always taught that alcohol and drugs were bad, an absolute no-no. But to me, I'm in control because I know it's wrong and I do it anyway. For some reason, I feel like I'm in charge whenever I have that hard glass bottle in my hand.

I don't cut myself. I'm a wuss when it comes to physical pain.

It's not like intetionally starve myself, I just don't always remember to sit down and eat.

I sneak into my parents' refridgerator, let the bitter liquid slide down my throat and it's done. I have power I like feeling my mind dissolve feeling the world dissolve around me. I'm swimming in a cloud of blue, nothing it's nothing. No worries, just me and my cloud lost in imagination.

After everything today I feel like I deserve at least one drink.

"Sharpay?"

I sigh. Look who it is, I'm actually not suprised.

"I thought you weren't going to drink anymore." She walks over to me, hands tucked warmly inside her jacket.

"I need a pick - me up after today." I pull the beer up to my lips and take anthoer long, long sip and swallow.

"Please stop it." She asks quietly.

I'm really annoyed. "So you're gonna tell me what to do now?"

"No, it's just I wish you wouldn't do that." She whispers.

I turn around and glare at her. I'm mad at her, I don't know why and I shouldn't be but I am and I don't feel like talking. "Well, how'd you get in here? I thought I locked the door after you left."

"It was unlocked," She sees the angry expression on my face, "I'm sorry." She hangs her head in embarrassment and now I'm mad at myself for making her feel bad. She hasn't done anything wrong, I have. I'm the one that acted like a selfless idiot and kissed her.

"Sit down," I tell her, sitting down and offering her the empty seat next to me. She settles down on the step next to me and I throw my half empty beer onto the neighbors' back porch. She smiles at this.

"So, about what - what happened today." Well she jumped on that topic quick. I nod and don't speak. I want to hear what she has to say. "It's .. it's okay, Sharpay."

I close my eyes. She's going to lecture me about how much she cares about me as a friend and friend only and she doesn't want to risk our friendship by going to far. I sigh.

"Gabi, don't. Please don't explain to me how much you care for me as a friend, blah, blah you don't have to act like it's okay because it's not! Look, I'll leave you alone for now on." I tell her, hardly. It hurts to say it, to even think about losing her.

"But I don't want you to leave me alone. I want to be your friend but I'm not ... I'm not gay."

I'm not going to act like I don't care, like I usually do. My heart is shattered and I'm not going to hide it. I like her .. I like her, but it's not mutual. What am I going to do?

I don't say anything, I just nod because I can't really speak. Physically, I really can't. Like I said, I'm very impulsive and if I start to talk I will not stop and I'm afraid of what I'll say. I'm afraid everything inside of me will fall out.

"I want to still be friends. Do ... do you think that's possible?" She's a great actress. She's very convincing. She's acting so normal, so calm and serene as if nothing out of the wack has recently happened.

"I - don't know," My voice trembles, my hands are shaking, "Knowing how I feel for you. Do you think it's possible?"

"Yes, Sharpay. I really do and that's why I'm here," She touches my shoulder and I am broken. She will never be mine. Her touch will never be mine, her kiss will never be mine, her love will never be mine. She will never belong to me.

"I...I really feel for you Gabriella. I don't want to ruin things," I close my eyes. I feel so much pain - this hurts like hell.

"I want to be friends with you. I don't care about anything else, anyone else. Your friendship is important to me."

So that's it. It's settled. We will never be. I will love her forever, and she will fall for some stupid boy (Troy?) and leave me alone and cold in this world.

Sounds just dandy.

"Yeah. Friends."

--

They are walking together, hand in hand and it makes me sick. To see someone so beautiful, inside and out with someone so disgusting breaks me inside. When she is with him she sees nothing else, including me.

Do you know how that feels? To be so in love with someone who doesn't even care? It is killing me.

He pulls her back and kisses her softly on the lips. The tears well up in my eyes and I turn away when they pull apart and she beams at him. Gabriella Montez will truly be the end of me.

**A Word From The Author:** Thanks for sticking with me guys. Sorry for the small delay, I've been pretty jammed up this week but once the weekend comes around I'm pretty clear. This is NOT the end of the story, we are a long way from that my friend.

If you like, please leave your thoughts. Reviews are more than welcomed.

xoAllison(:


	18. Black And White

Tonight is the night I have been anticipating and working so hard for. The night my whole entire hired and well paid dance crew have been pouring out blood and sweat for. This is the night that will determine my whole entire future.

And as you probably guessed I am more nervous than I have ever been. A million thoughts are racing through my head as we gather in our positions on stage.

But every single thought drops from my mind as the curtains come up and the spotlight is on _me_. I gasp and the music starts. Already sweat is forming in small beads all over my body.

I look at Ryan and he winks at me as he starts to sing and we all join in unison in dance. We start up great. Everyone's in perfect sync and harmony and not only are we rockin' but we all look amazing.

The crowd responds with a few cheers and now I'm suddenly into it. The music is my everything, music is my _life_ and I will give anything, do anything to protect that. I'll give this everything I got because I simply have to.

I love the way I feel during the climax of our song. My body is buzzing and alive, I have so much energy and I feel so unreal. I'm tingling as Ryan and I do the move we have been rehearsing so hard to perfect and it works out perfectly. I smile as we get more positive response from the audience.

And then, it's over. The song ends and we all freeze for a few seconds and the dinner room of the Lava Springs Country Club is completely silent until the room erupts with cheer and applause.

This is it ...

--

I don't expect the response that we get when we walk back stage. The small overcrowded room erupts with applauds and cheers. I feel people hugging me and slapping my back, congratulating me and so forth.

It's not that much of a suprise to me though - we did great and I knew we would. By the time I am back in my dressing room, my back is sore from everyone slapping my back and my cheeks are wet with lipgloss and saliva.

I sigh and throw myself down in my pink plush beanbag chair. How good it feels to relax. I take off my heels and shove them into a corner, then seat myself in front of the vanity mirror and begin picking out all of the bobbypins in my hairspray-caked hair.

God, look at me. Usually I would be out there socializing, and playing my part of the fabulous dumb blonde but now - I just want to be alone so I can crawl up in a ball and cry myself to no end.

"Sharpay?" There is a knock on my door and my mother's blonde head pops in the door. "Someone's here to meet with you darling."

"Who?" I ask without looking away from my reflection in the mirror.

She quickly steps in the room and shuts the door. She smiles excitedly and rushes over to me, immeadiately fixing my hair and tugging at my dress. "Jonathan Goodman. He's a record producer and he wants to meet _you_!" She exclaims.

I stand, pulling away from her. "Seriously?"

She rolls her eyes and picks up my heels in the corner. "Yes, darling, now do something with your hair quickly. He won't wait for long." She sits me in the chair and forcefully straps on my shoes. She grumbles something and stands me up straight.

She makes a face, "Good enough," Pats me on the shoulder and grabs my hand pulling me out of my dressing room.

A record producer? Wants to meet me? I can't help but smile. Of course he wants to meet me. I'm Sharpay Evans and I'm absolutely fabulous.

"Mr. Goodman," My mother says placing me in front of a tall man in a pristine black pinstriped suit. "This is my daughter. I believe you've been looking forward to meeting with her." She grins that fake smile of hers, her old, manicured hand still on my shoulder.

"Ah, Sharpay. What a beautiful and talented young lady. I'm Jonathan Goodman, with R&R Records," Jonathan Goodman reaches out his clunky, muscular hand and nearly squeezes mine to death. I smile, trying hard not to show my obvious pain from his ridiculous grip.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Goodman," I say, trying to be as charming as possible.

It seems to be working because he flashes me his gorgeous hollywood grin. He's white, black hair slicked back and cut short, all in all good - looking though he wears glasses and he's _really _tall. He adjusts them on his nose before speaking.

"Your show was just wonderful. Your darling mother told me you choreographed and wrote all of it yourself?" He looks at my mother and smirks, she blushes and flips her hair behind her shoulder.

My stomach tosses at that. Yuck, slimeball. But I suck it up because this man could be offering me everything that I have ever wanted - ever dreamed of. I nod, "It's true. I spent the past four months jamming it all together until it was perfect."

"Well, it was perfect. And that's why I came to talk to you," he pulls something out of his suit pocket and hands it to me. "We're extremely interested in working with you, Sharpay. We'd just love to have you on our label." The card is white and not the regular, flimsy paper business card. It's hard, thick and plastic, with fancy designs and bright colors.

I look up at him. "Really?"

I try hard to keep in the excitement but it's a little hard. "Yes, really. If you're interested give me a call. We can set up an appointment." He winks at me and simply walks away, leaving behind the scent of expensive cologne and hair gel.

My mother stares at him until he's gone. She turns back to me and pats me on the shoulder. "Make sure to tell when that appointment is." Just then, Mr. and Mrs. Kallir, a lifelong friend of my fathers' walks by and she moves away to smile her awfully fake smile and shake hands.

I turn and walk away. God, I just can't stand my mother. She just pissesd me the fuck off! I turn down the hallway and slam my hand against a door. This hallway is empty - the loud murmur of chatter and excitement has died down and moved back outside.

I think this was all the dressing rooms for the dancers but most of them are outside. Being congratulated by their families and friends, people who really care about them. Getting seated to hear the announcement of the winning talent - like it really even matters who wins a stupid trophy.

A month ago it did, a month ago it mattered if I got the trophy. It meant_ everything. _And I want to win, I know I will but now she means everything. I want her, I need her. I want her breath on my ear, whispering soft words of love. I want to feel her next to me, need to feel her next to me. I know it's corny as hell but she makes me feel whole. As if all of lifes' scars were never there and it's just me and her.

I'm just Sharpay.

She's just Gabriella and nobody else matters.

And it hurts, it fucking _hurts_. So much. I press my lips together, feeling the tears swell in my eyes. She will never see me the same way. She will never love me like I love her, she doesn't think about me or cry herself to sleep at night.

_"I'm not..I'm not gay." _

I keep hearing her words, as if she was right there next to me saying them over and over again. The pain is so crippling, I can feel the hole, opening in my chest. A new scar, a new wound. Cut nice and deep - perfectly painful and maybe worse this time. I feel my legs buckle and I'm on the floor. I can't breathe...it hurts to breathe.

I hear my name, it is far away at first...I realize I've been laying here longer than I thought.

"Sharpay?"

I see Ryan's blue eyes staring down at me. His eyebrows are knitted together, slightly concerned. He titls his head, not bothering to ask what's wrong because his eyes are filled with understanding, knowing. He gathers me in his arms, I feel myself slipping away.

--

How did I get here?

Knees tucked into my chest I stare at the back of Ryan's blonde head. The air is so cold as it whips my hair around. I sigh when we come to a stop out front of the house. I close my eyes.

I hear Ryan get out, slam the door. I'm thinking that he's leaving me but then the back door of the car opens and he climbs in next to me.

"Sharpay, this is ridiculous."

It is. For once he's right, this is absolutely ridiculous. I just had the performance of my life, got offered a record deal and what am I doing? Laying in the back of my car, dying of sheer heartbreak. And all for what? A stupid, stupid girl.

I wish I could believe that she was only a stupid girl. But she's so far from that..at least to me.

"I know," I whisper, feeling my warm breath tickle my freezing skin.

There's a pause. All I hear is his breathing, my breathing, and my heart beating. Racing so fast in my chest, crying for relief of this terrible ache.

"Listen Sharpay, it'll all be okay," Ryan assures me placing a warm hand on my leg.

I sniffle, pressing my knees harder into my chest. "You can't know that."

He laughs and I feel him scoot my body underneath his and wrap his arms around me. "Oh but I do. She will come to her senses eventually. She wants you Sharpay, she really does."

I shake my head, feeling the tears beginning to fall. "But how can you know that?"

"The way she looks at you."

--

"I think you should talk to her."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah fucking right."

We're in lunch, Monday. I have yet to speak to Gabriella. Cindy and Monica crash down across from us, giggling outraegeously. I hate them, I really do. They're so fucking bitchy. They think they're better than everyone else (besides me.) Sometimes I just want to punch them square in the nose.

"Oh my god, Sharpay!"

Please shoot me.

"Oh my god, Monica!" I mock, matching her tone. Cindy rolls her eyes at my bitchyness and takes a bite of her popsicle. Fatass.

"Did you hear about Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez?"

Maybe Monica's babble isn't always useless. I lean over and listen intently, Ryan nudges my side. I ignore him and wait for Monica to continue. She takes a big bite of her Luna bar just to tease me and make me wait on the edge of my seat, like I said total and complete bitch.

"They totally broke up," She reports through a mouthful of Luna.

My jaw drops, Ryan laughs out loud. "What!"

"Yeah, apparently, she walked in on him and some other girl."

I jump for joy inside although I shouldn't. I don't know where Monica's story comes from and if the source is reliable. "How'd you find out?" I press on.

Monica shrugs. "The girl who Troy was with told me. Danielle Katz, she's my cousins' friends' cousins' sister or something like that. It happened last Saturday, she went to visit him late night and he was totally banging Danielle. Danielle freaked because she didn't know who Gabriella was. She said it was a total mess."

Fuck yes! I stand up, Ryan eyes me, trying to hide a smile. I bid them goodbye and dump my tray of uneaten food into the trash. I walk past Troy's table and low and behold, she's not sitting with them. Instead Troy and his buddies are building some type of statue out of cafeteria food.

Idiots.

Quickly, I scan the cafeteria for her. I spot her sitting at a table alone, emersed in a book. I smile, score!

**A Word From The Author: **Sorry I've been away from this story for so long. God, I've had such a tough time with this chapter but I hope it's what you all expect. I missed writing for this story and I'm so glad that I'm finally back. (:

As always, reviews are very much appreciated.

xoAllison.(:


	19. Abiquiu Lake

"So what happened?"

She shrugs her bare, tanned shoulders. "He cheated, he's with another girl."

I close my eyes, I can feel the warm wind whipping my hair behind my shoulders. I push my toe into the mulch and slowly swing my legs back and forth. How could he? That asshole, that _fucking _asshole? How could he be so stupid to not see how lucky he is to have her? Doesn't he see her, see her and all her beauty? There's just no way in hell that any other is as beautiful as she, in their mind, body, or soul. Everything she does is so right, so perfect. I'd give anything to be with her, for a chance to kiss her lips and that stupid, fuc-

"I don't really care. It's no big deal as long as he's happy." I look at her, my eyes trailing down to her legs. They are dark and toned, so damn perfect. "I don't know who she is but I think-"

I smile. "Danielle Katz." I shake my head and chuckle, that whore. She doesn't even compare to Gabriella. What the hell did that idiot see in Danielle? Oh yeah I forgot, a piece of ass. Gabriella turns her head in slight confusion. "She's a friend of a friend or something; I heard." I look out at the sky. I need a cigarette.

She says nothing and looks down at her knees. Her black hair is in a bun, falling sloppily over her eyes, dark pieces framing her beautiful jaw line. I watch as her knuckles grow white while she clutches the metal chain of the swing. God, I wish I could hold her and kiss all the pain away. I would take her soft hand into mine, look into her light brown eyes and take her into me, all of her. Every piece, every flaw, every tear, or moment of sorrow.

"Hey, you know what?" I say, getting up from my seat and standing next to her. "Let's go somewhere."

XxXxXxXxXxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Breathtaking.

Absolutely breathtaking.

I'm watching Gabriella. Her movements are delicate and purposeful; she dips one toe into the water and quickly takes it back out. I can smell the salt and hear the waves, and all I want to do is watch her. I _love_ watching her. No matter what she's doing, whether it be reading, writing, talking, or eating she is beautiful. She plays with the water as it sweeps in and out onto the sand and back into the ocean's outstretched arms.

I left my Versace sandals in my car. I can't believe I'm going to do this. I inhale the salty air in one sharp breath, and pull off my tank top. My skirt down on the sand, I suddenly feel cold and embarrassed. Will she think I'm fat or see the my thighs filled with cellulite and turn her nose in disgust? I couldn't handle it if she rejected me again. I just want to show her, to let her feel safe with me, comfortable.

I jog to catch up to her. She is standing in the water, up to her knees in water. She doesn't move or acknowledge me, though I'm sure she can feel me behind her. I lift up my hand and brim my fingers against her forearm. She doesn't react or pull away, but stands motionless, eyes fixed on something I cannot see. I do it again, slowly caressing her fingers, then her elbows. I make my way up to her shoulders and her neck, and it is then when she finally turns towards me. Her eyes are hard and closed - I cannot read her expression. With no reaction, I let my hand drop back to my side.

Rejection.

I look away. Damn it, why am I so stupid? We just got back to being friends and I'm already stripping and touching her in ways she doesn't want to be touched. She doesn't _want_ me and I remember her words when I first kissed her, they sting me still. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, maybe I should just go put my clothes on and wait for her in the car. I turn, I cannot look at her.

"Don't." I look back at her face. She is grabbing my arms, pulling me back to her, close. Her hands are on my face and she is crying, tears running down her face. "Touch me again, Sharpay. Touch me." Her eyes are full of trust as they plead with me.

I carefully place my hands on her back and I can feel the heat of her skin from underneath her shirt. This is everything that I wanted, that I have wanted from the very first moment I saw her. Her eyes are closed and she whispers again to me, "Touch me, Sharpay."

I want this. I had tucked my desires away because Gabriella had not wanted me, had not shown any interest. She was hand in hand with a boy, a dumbass boy who gave no regard to her, or who she was. But now, as her fingers caress my face and I am standing so close and vulnerable with everything exposed to her, there is nothing more that I desire. I do not want to be careful, I want to have her and I want to have her now.

I pull her into me, greedily pushing my fingers up the back of her tanktop. Her body is against mine, lips to lips. I waste no time and open her mouth, relishing in the feeling of her warm tongue rolling over top of mine. For the first time, I taste her. She is so good, so lovely. Her hands are around my neck, gently pulling and stroking my skin. I am melted into her, I need all of her. I let myself touch her sides, pushing her shirt up past her belly button. I hesitate for a moment, still feeling protective of her.

"Do it," She says, her breath against my lips. I push her shirt up past her bra and over her shoulders with ease, watching in awe as she steps out of her shorts. I run my hands up and down her now completely bare sides. She is wearing a white bra and pink underwear. I smile and grin at how quirky and odd that is. Everything about her is so cute, how many times have I said that?

She is scared, I can see it in her eyes. They are open and wide, like a deer caught in headlights. I run the back of my fingers over her flushed cheeks and reassure her. I press her against me and kissed the skin below her jaw. "We don't have to if you don't want to."

She touches my back with confidence, her arms wrapping around my hips. "I want to. I-I trust you."

I won't ask twice, I grab her hand and lead her out of the water. I toss her shirt with mine, and lay her down gently in the sand. I rub my hands down her perfect stomach, so smooth and tan. I watch her face which is serene and peaceful. I kiss her belly button before trailing my fingertips along the waistband of her pink underwear. I look up to her for permission and she nods. I slide them down her hips and off of her feet, then lift her gently up and unhook her bra.

I position myself on top of her, propping her legs open and straddling her. There is a sharp gasp as I enter her, pressing inside her warm insides. She is so... so different. The texture of her skin is soft and tastes sweet. I watch as her face changes, her eyes fluttering, and hips moving underneath me, pulling me closer into her. I kiss her cheek, she is sweating. Her beautiful lips part and slowly mouth my name. "Sharpay," a moan drowned out by the sound of waves.

I gently push into her, deeper, moving slowly and softly. I don't want her to be scared, I want to make her feel safe, protected. She doesn't make a sound as I feel her legs close around me and her silky walls move in and out. One loan whimper as her back arches and eyes open in pure satisfaction. I kiss her cheeks and pull away, laying next to her. She sighs and snuggles her nose into my neck.

"Sharpay," she says breathlessly, "You make me feel amazing."

I smile. "So do you, Gabriella Montez."

**Author's Note**: Hey! Long time, no see huh? I haven't written in a while, been suffering from a bout of writer's block. But I'm back! I have made a goal to finish this story this time with no long-term hiatuses. It's been a while, I hope I haven't lost Sharpay's voice, bear with me it may take me a few chapters to get it completely back! I know this is a little fast-paced and some of you might be confused. Let me explain this chapter and what happens in it and why.

Gabriella and Troy have just broken up because Troy has apparently cheated. Sharpay, having missed Gabriella and being extremely heartbroken, has gone up and as a friend, tried talking to her about it. That fails so in her attempt to make Gabriella feel better, she takes her to Albuquiqui Lake, which you will all learn about later and the meaning behind this place, and it is there where she impulsively acts. Sharpay is a complex character, and often is impulsive and acts on her own whim according to her emotions. She has multiple personalties. One is the Sharpay that is seen when she is around those who she feels superior to: Ryan, Monica, Cindy, the entire world, etc. She is emotionless, gorgeous, confident, other Sharpay is the real Sharpay. The one who is emotionally and mentally distraught, the one who is sensitive, insecure, and easily falls in love. She is this Sharpay when she is with Gabriella and that's the reason why she (unconciously) is so drawn to Gabriella, because she brings out who Sharpay really is.

Sharpay, being the impulsive romantic that she is, acts out on her emotions here. She feels so desperately in love with Gabriella, she takes her chances. Gabriella is a very closed off, secretive character. She is everything Sharpay is not. That's why Sharpay scares her - there are other skeletons in her closet that will be revealed later on. She reminds her of everything that she wants but can't be and doesn't understand why someone as glamorous as Sharpay would care to spend time with her. So naturally, they are both drawn to each other being opposites. Gabriella has sex with Sharpay in this chapter because she desperate to feel what Sharpay feels for her. She wants to know love, and knows that she has not found that with Troy, although Troy isn't finished yet. Anyhoo that's all I'll go into now! :)

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